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    The Wasteland's Finest (Zalgo vs. Kristie vs. Cryppy)

    Zalgo the Imminent
    Zalgo the Imminent
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Tue Apr 26, 2011 5:32 pm

    First topic message reminder :

    "AWWWOOOO! Hey there, children, it's me, Three Dog! How you kids handlin' Post-Apocalyptia today?"

    Welcome to theworld after the world. The remains of Washington D.C., to be exact. You and I are part of a caravan crew, roaming around the wasteland, selling our wares, which mostly are made up of weapons, ammo, clothing, Stimpacks, and random junk.

    We've been like this since we were kids, best friends and all. Both of us grew up in the settlement of Megaton, where a live atomic bomb sits at the middle in a small pool of water and the walls are made of scrap metal from old airplanes and such.

    We just had a big sale of recon armor and power armor for the Brotherhood of Steel and are on the way to their base of operations, the Citadel, located within the ruins of the Pentagon building. We're travelling from Girdershade, which is deep within Enclave territory. Unfortunately, the Enclave and the Brotherhood of Steel are at war. Who will we ultimately side with in this war for the Capitol Wasteland?

    Key to colors:
    White=text.
    Indigo and brown Indicate what I'm saying.
    Red is Three Dog speaking on Galaxy News Radio.
    Green is John Henry Eden speaking on Enclave Radio.
    Blue is random NPC's talking.
    Cyan will be the character known as "The Lone Wanderer". We'll get to him later.


    Last edited by Rerathith on Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:36 am; edited 3 times in total
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    Post by Burn It Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:55 pm

    Watch out for Raiders? Out here? Sort of an odd thing to request, and random, unless.. Oooooou he must have found some colourful piece of work while scrounging around in there! I heard some more shuffling going on until he emerged from the shack, shouting out for the equipment. “Yes sir.” I called back in a jokey tone. I reached for the hand break and blade and took one in each hand. “So, anything in there beat the necklace of toes from a while back?” I asked, now beginning to walk towards him. He had his hands up to catch him, but now that he was outside again, we had good eyes on the cart and I could do my own lookin’ around. I jumped, placing the hand break in the hand he had raised and left the blade next to him on the ground. “Have fun with your toy, but make sure to look up, I wanna poke around.” I took a step into the doorway, and leaned against the frame, pulling out some bullet to refill the shots I’d fired off earlier before going in.
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Sun May 01, 2011 9:11 am

    Zalgo bent over to pick up the lawnmower blade, saying "Let's just say someone's missing their head, and the raiders decided to make a bit of a snack for the cannibals out there." He then headed back inside, put the rest of the items on the workbench, and got started. He started by connecting the rubber hose to the gas tank's opening and taping it there. He then took the handbrake, broke off the parts unneeded, forming them into a makeshift handguard. He took some scrap metal, hammered it to form a handle and a guarder. He grabbed a nearby blowtorch and welded all of those components together.

    "Alright, that's about halfway." He said, wiping the sweat from his brow before getting back to work. He hammered a bit from the lawnmower blade, attaching it to the handle he had made and welding that together. He inserted the pilot light into an opening in the scrap metal handle, than patched over it with some more. He put on the oven mitt, placed the gas tank on his back, held the Shishkebab blade in his hand, pulled the handbrake, and WOOSH. Fire eminated from the blade.

    "HAHA! Perfect! Now THAT'S how we make stuff, right Kristie?" He shouted at the success he just had. "And all from memory, nonetheless!" He said, walking back out and releasing the handbrake.
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    Post by Burn It Sun May 01, 2011 6:17 pm

    I watched the flames burst from the top of the Shishkebab, and my eyes were so attached, I dropped the gun I was loading onto the ground. It wasn’t everyday we got a toy this good, or exciting. We’d either keep it to get us out of tight situations, or sell it, and make a hefty profit. However, this one, even if he wanted to, which I doubt he did by the look on his face, I would NOT let him part with this one. “That was, by far, the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. Just be sure not to burn off your eyebrows there Zalgo, wouldn’t want to torch up your pretty lil’ face.” I said, still looking over it, my eyes glued. When he walked back out, I blinked a couple times, looked away and picked up the gun.

    “Let’s see what else they got in here.” I said before going inside the shack. Wasn’t much in here that was worth the weight of brining; just common bits of shit you’d find anywhere like this. It was disappointing, until a shine of sun hit something at a specific angel that caught my eye. “Shine is good..” There was some scrap pieces of wood over top of whatever it was. I picked up one of the pieces, and the rest collapsed sending out about 12 or more Radroaches that had been huddled underneath, scaring the life out of me. “UGH! Smelly little bastards!” I backed up away from their path towards the door, tripped, and feel ass first onto the dirt and dust filled ground. It shuffled around and surrounded my face, making me hack and cough away the filthy thick air. I stood up as quick as I could, dusting off my rear and headed for the pile of wood. I kicked away a piece, not wanting my hands to get close, and what I found wasn’t anything special. Just a silver chain, not even sure if it’s real, either way it was almost useless. You couldn’t kill anyone with a piece of jewelry, and you could barely sell it. I picked it up and got out of the shack.

    “Your toy, the dust in my lungs, and this are about all we’ll get outta this place. I say fix your sword, then we’ll take off and get somewhere a little less, soiled.”
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Sun May 01, 2011 7:07 pm

    Zalgo slyly smiles. "Oh, please, Kristie. It's not the sexiest thing you've ever seen. Remember the Deathclaws mauling those Enclave soldiers?" He then walked over to the Brahmin, putting his Chinese sword on it. "Don't need this thing anymore." He said, being glad to be rid of the thing.

    "Hey, Kristie, I think I saw a safe in there. ?You got the screwdriver and a couple bobby pins, right?" He called back to her. "We could use some of the shit in it."
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    Post by Burn It Sun May 01, 2011 10:56 pm

    “No no no, you see, those Enclave soldiers getting their asses handed to them, literally, was a work of art by God. That,” I pointed to the Shishkabeb, “Just turns me on.” I laughed and smiled to myself as I went around the other side of the Brahmin cart to look for what he asked. “I suppose we’re still got ‘em here, but I didn’t see a safe.” I started digging through, twice I’ve had to do this today – Bloody hell he’s lazy.

    “Than again, I didn’t see much other than dust.” I reached again, and felt the handle of the screwdriver, “And we’re good to go, bobby pins are in my pocket. Sure we can't just blow it up?”
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Mon May 02, 2011 2:26 pm

    "What, and risk blowing up the stuff that may be in there? Yeah, no thanks." Zalgo said, lookuing around. Another Enclave Vertibird flew overhead, this one landing on a ruined overpass nearby. He saw some plasma shots fly by before the Vertibird took off again. "Shit, watch out. Hurry with the safe! It's in the floor behind the counter in there." He called out to her, grabbing the Shishkebab, holding it one hand while grabbing his 10mm pistol from its holster, ready for the Enclave to arrive.

    Suddenly, a very staticky radio signal picked up. GNR was coming in slightly again, and Three Dog was on the air.

    "Now a w.i.e b..k I t.ld ... ab..t someone lea..ng ....t 101. W..l gue.s w.at? N.w p..ple are s..ing th.t someone else just wa.k.d ou. of there. What the heck is g..ng on down th.re? Revol.t.on? Vaca...n? Somebody fart? Y..r gue.s .. as g..d as .... k.ds."

    "Huh? Three Dog?" Zalgo said to himself, knocking on the Pipboy a couple times before the signal cut out again. As soon as he looked up, he saw the Enclave soldiers walking from the overpass to where the caravan was. "Here they come. Hurry up with the safe, girl."
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    Post by Burn It Mon May 02, 2011 3:05 pm

    “You suck with sarcasm sometimes dear boy.” I watched the Vertibird go by, and just became really, well, pissed off. I mean.. I like shootin’ up the Enclave as much as the next person, but now it’s just grossly inconvenient given I have to try and pick open a safe, while rushing to get in some points. “Leave me a shot!” I yelled, grabbing an empty back from the cart, and running into the shack to the counter he was talking about. Sure enough, there it was, “How the hell did he even see this damn thing?” I thought to myself, moving at some floor pieces to get to the safe. No Radroaches, a useless piece of luck.

    I pulled the safe out and onto some clear floor beside me and I knelt beside it. He was lucky there was Enclave outside, I was certainly kneeling in a mixture of dust and Radroach feces right about now – No dust is this dark. The screwdriver went in first, and stuck in the keyhole as the base of it all. “Now the bitchy part.” I pulled out two of the safe pins in my pocket, and bent out of them out straight and kept one of them as is. “Up.. Up.. Left.. L- No right!” And a click, I don’t believe that worked. I hadn’t picked a lock in over two years, “Damn I’m good!” I put the pins and screwdriver into the deeper pocket of my pants and pulled open the safe.

    Inside was a good 30 or more bottle caps, some drugs but I don’t really have the time to look at what they are at the moment, although I’m sure I saw what looked to be a Jet. I was just focused on shoving whatever was in here the bag and getting back out there. There were schematics in there as well, which I really couldn’t NOT stop and look over just for a quick second. “Oh love.” I folded them up into a small square, putting them into the other larger pocket I had on me, just incase the bag gets a bit tumbled and wrecked with the Enclaves outside and such. Underneath were just some pre-war money, some cans of food – Not sure what the expirer date is, and a well crafted wooden box, empty though – Bloody useless.

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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Mon May 02, 2011 3:26 pm

    The Enclave troopssaw them, raised their plasma weapons and started firing iwhtout warning. "SHIT! KRISTIE, GET OUT HERE NOW!" he shouted before rolling behind a broken down car and pressing down the handbrake on the Shishkebab. He kneeled up, aiming his pistol at one soldier and fired 5 times, hitting each time but barely penetrating their Power armor. He jumped over the car, running at them, dodging plasma bolts left and right. "Shit shit shit." He chanted to himself as he ran at the first soldier. A plasma bolt hits Zalgo right in the chest, making him cring as he brings the Shishkebab down on the soldier's Power Helmet, cracking it and setting the magnesium outside on fire. The soldier cooked in his own armor, falling to the ground, trying to put out the flames. He was too late, though, and died.

    "OW, FUCK!" Zalgo shouted, feeling the spot where the plasma hit him. It wasn't bleeding, but it hurt like it was. "Oh, you fuckers are going to PAY for that!" He put his 10mm pisto laway, picking up the dead soldier's plasma pistol and a few energy cells from his pouch. He took aim and fired 2 shots, hitting another soldier in the helmet, a critical spot on the armor, melting it down to nothing but goo. The now armorless soldier attempted to flee, but was easily dispatched with one more shot from the pistol.

    "Kristie, if you wanna help, get the fuck out here." He shouted before rolling back behind a charred, broken tree.
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    Post by Burn It Mon May 02, 2011 3:51 pm

    “Oh shit, Zalgo, that’s right!” I think I actually forgot why I was rushing around in this room in the first place; Enclave.. Ooops. I through the duffle bag over my head and shoulder, it now sitting on me similar to how my Rifle was. I kicked the safe back into the hole in the floor, and headed straight for the door.

    A red light was beaming my direction the moment I got into the view of the doorway, “FUCK. SHIT.” I screamed, sliding on the ground out the door to dodge the plasma, sort of like a baseball player.. Or was it basketball? Oh who gives a shit. Two of them kept firing off in my direction and I’d been able to dodge two more by rolling away from that area on the dirt ground. I stood up on my feet and, half my body still bent over to avoid the shots, ran over to the beaten up car and kept my back to it. There three of them that I could see when I ran over, but only two had been firing at me – The other must be aiming for Zalgo, good! At least I know he’s not dead.

    I panted heavily behind the car, my hand reaching around to the back of me for the shotgun. I bent down for a sec to look under the car, and saw each of them were walking a different side of the car to block me off. I’m not that STUPID.

    Crouched down, I walked to the side of the car that was back in the direction of the shack and pulled the shotgun in front of my face. I stood up, caught the first of them off guard and with the shotgun only six inches from his head helmet I fired off the shot, “BOOM!” I yelled as I pulled the trigger. Normally that wouldn’t have done shit, but the helmets are weaker, and because of how close I was, the shotgun did a nice job of making jello out of his head. The other Enclave instantly saw me stand up and aimed his gun at me. I dropped to the ground, and kept my head at the ground level so I could see where he was walking, and in a pattern kept myself on the opposite side of him on the car. I took the shotgun and fired at his foot from under the car and although it didn’t affect him much, it stung enough for him to stutter back away from the car. While he was doing so, I stood up and shot him from across the car, which didn’t do much to him, but it gave me enough time to grab his friend’s gun I missed and aim for his head. “Why do you guys always show up when you’re least wanted?!” I called over to him before taking a third and final shot at his head with the shotgun.

    Well, that was my last bullet till I could get to the cart, so I hope Zalgo’s got his ass covered.
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Mon May 02, 2011 4:12 pm

    Zalgo dodged the plasma from the last soldier's shots, firing his own, missing the helmet, but hitting the armor, barely harming the soldier. He hid behind another decrepit tree, reloading the plasma pistol in his hand. He clicked a button on the Pipboy, a Stimpack being dispensed from it. He stabbed the needle into his chest, no longer feeling the pain from the plasma bolt that hit him earlier.

    He looked back, seeing the soldier still firing at him. Zalgo looked around, noticing a broken down car, but one that still seemed to have its engine intact. He remembered some Pre-War mechanics he had learned early in life. He fired 3 shots at the car, the engine catching fire for 10 seconds before exploding into a mushroom cloud, destroying the car and killing the last soldier. Zalgo breathed a sigh of relief, walked over to check on the Brahmin. He put the plasma pistol in the packings. They could sell it to the Brotherhood later.

    "All good now. What'd you find in the safe, Kriswtie?" He called out.
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    Post by Burn It Mon May 02, 2011 4:22 pm

    The explosion from the other car, although a striking sight, scared me to the point of falling back on my ass, watching the cloud slowly clear. Then, just up and out of no where Zalgo walks over like he didn’t just blow up an Enclave. Where’s the excitement?!

    “No don’t worry, I’m completely fine. Not a scratch on me, thanks for asking.” I stood up dusted myself off, again, and put the shotgun back into the strap of my built. “A couple goodies, some junk, and one big beauty. Take a look for yourself.” I took off the bag from my shoulder and tossed it over at him on my way to the Brahmin cart. I still had the schematics in my pocket, so I’d wait to surprise him with it in a second.
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Mon May 02, 2011 4:49 pm

    Zalgo caught the bag, unzipping it. He saw the few bottlecaps, the teddy bear, the metal pieces, the shower tubing, the Jet inhaler and Med-X syringes. Not bad for a safe that hasn't been opened in about 200 years or so.

    "Alright, not too bad of a catch, eh?" He said, smiling. He placed the dufflebag on the Brahmin via a hook on the side of its saddling. "Anything else? Tech? Schematics? Scrap? Anything at all?" He knew by the look on her face she was hiding something. Or just preparing for a suprise.
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    Post by Burn It Mon May 02, 2011 5:14 pm

    Awwh, I was expecting him to get all disappointed by not finding something spectacular! See? This is why I always sucked at poker. “Anything else?” I quoted him, taking the folded up schematics of a Railway Rifle out of my pocket and waving them in my hands.

    “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.” I smiled and held them in front of my face, waiting for him to take them, “Oh, unless of course you meant this, than yea, there was something pretty fuckin’ awesome.”
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Mon May 02, 2011 5:22 pm

    Zalgo smiled slyly. "Y'can't hide things from me, Kristie. I know when you're lying or hiding shit from me." He took the schematics and lookedc over them. "Perfect. Let's see... Steam Guage assembly... Crutch... Pressure Cooker... Fission Battery... Oooh, it seems expensive to make, but it also seems extremely useful... I'll make one for you later on." He rolled the schematics up and placed it with the ones for the Dart Gun, Deathclaw Gauntlet, and Rock-It Launcher ones on the back of the Brahmin. Its two heads moo'd at the same time, echoing almost creepily.

    "Alright. Off we go, Kristie." He said, walking off into the wastes, the Brahmin following along.
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    Post by Burn It Mon May 02, 2011 9:12 pm

    “I’m sure we’ll find some more collectables on the road, we’ll be able to manage the cost of the Rifle, plus, I really, really want it..” I took out the empty shotgun from my belt and dropped it into the cart with the rest of equipment, the Brahmin making a low-pitched sound when it hit. “Jesus, they act like I just loaded a bolder. Oh, and do remind me to buy shells the next chance I get. Two of the Enclaves stole what I had loaded, so to speak, and I’m not sure on how much we have, so a restock may be an order.”

    I pulled out the simple chain I had earlier from my pocket and placed it over my head so it hung on my neck. Who knows, if it’s real maybe it’ll buy a bit of ammo, every little bit helped in a way. If not, it wasn’t all that ugly. “Is it just me, or does something smell absolutely horrid?”
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Tue May 03, 2011 2:44 pm

    "It ALWAYS smells horrid, Kristie." Zalgo said, chuckling slightly. HYe kept walking, seeing a dead Ghoul lying in the middle of the wastes. "Hence why they call it "Wasteland". Dummy." He said as he kneeled down next to the Ghoul and searched his pockets. He found 3 caps and a box of 200 year old Salisbury Steak. Luckily, those idiots from before the War knew how to preserve things forever, so it seemed okay. No green mold on the box, at least.

    "Oh, also, get more shells. You'll want 'em." HE said with a sly smile, joking around with her.
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    Post by Burn It Tue May 03, 2011 3:24 pm

    “HA! SO. FUNNY. No.” I finished, giving him a shove with my arm and walking to the whale of a thing on the ground. I kicked at the body and the lardass didn’t move an inch. I knelt down, knowing he’d already searched it I just looked over the thing. “Yes, but there’s Wasteland smell, than there’s this kind of smell.” I lent forward, my head about a foot from its body and took in a breath, “WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.” I shouted, retreating from the body and taking in small breaths to clear the stench from my nose.

    “I thought maybe it was him… Something really does abnormally reek though.”
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Tue May 03, 2011 3:41 pm

    "Oh, please, it couldn't've been the Ghoul smell. You remember how Gob smells back in Megaton?" Zalgo said. "And now that you mention it, I kinda smell it too..." He looked around at this point, surveying for what could be the cause of the smell. He saw a lone Deathclaw in the distance, falling instantly to the ground and pulling Kristie down with him.

    "SHIT. We did NOT need this right now!" Zalgo hissed. "Keep quiet, maybe it'll go away."
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    Post by Burn It Tue May 03, 2011 3:54 pm

    When we were able to talk, I’d make sure to annoy him about me being right; I know when I smell something off.. Most of the time.. Sometimes. ANYWAYS, I still couldn’t see what it was that we’d dropped to the ground for. I’d landed right on my back, so all I could see was the feet of the Brahmin, Zalgo, and the sky above me. If we had to hide from it this well, I was contemplating even moving to turn around and look.

    I turned my head and nudged Zalgo, mouthing out, “What is it?”
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Tue May 03, 2011 4:17 pm

    "Deathclaw." Is the only word Zalgo whispered to Kristie before hearing the sound of it running straight for them. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." He whispered more to himself than anything. He slowly took the 10mm out of its holster and unsheathed the Shishkebab. "Stay down. I think I got this." Zalgo said, crawling towards the Brahmin. He hid behind the pack on its back, grabbed their stash of 5mm ammo, looked over the brahmin's pack to see the Deathclaw mere meters away, put the pistol back in its holster, and pulled the Minigun off the minigun out from the pack, loading it quickly before spinning from behind the Brahmin and firing a volley of shots at the abomination of nature.

    "FUCK YOU YOU GODDAMNED FUCKFACE! ROT IN HELL!" Zalgo shouted over the Minigun's whirring and firing noises. The shots flew everywhere, hitting the Deathclaw in the head, the horns, the left hand, the legs, the chest, and the tail. After 2 minutes of straight Minigun shots, the Deathclaw finally fell. Zalgo took his finger off the trigger, unloaded the minigun, tied it back to the Brahmin, and motioned to Kristie that the coast was clear.
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    Post by Burn It Tue May 03, 2011 6:13 pm

    “Fuck it. I’m just going to stay in the dirt. Everything wants to kill us today.” I spread out my arms and legs, and began moving them back and forth.. Kinda like making a dirt angel. I did it for a couple seconds, than stopped and sighed out loud, and rough, “Now that I think about it, something probably took a piss here.” I sat up, just my torso and looked out towards where I assume the Deathclaw was originally coming from.

    I haven’t seen a goddamn Deathclaw in over a week, and now one pops up, but I don’t get to kill it. Everything hates me. “So, are it’s horns and claws still intact, Rambo?”
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Tue May 03, 2011 6:21 pm

    "One hand. The horns are chipped, the left hand is a pulp, but the right hand can still be used." Zalgo said, pulling the Shishkebab's blade off his waist, walking over to the dead Deathclaw and cutting off its hand. He took the hand to the Brahmin and put it on the cart.

    "Alright, all ready. Let's move." Zalgo said, moving on. They'd be passing the Robco factory soon enough, but they couldn't stop this time. They'd lost enough time as it was.
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    Post by Burn It Wed May 04, 2011 3:03 pm

    "The horns are worth moooore..." I teased, just loud enough for him to hear me. I finished standing up and began brushing myself off, not much coming off. "But, not all of us can be perfect with aim." I winked and moved out of the way of the Brahmin as they began moving forward.

    "So, where's the next major stop, Rambo?" Yea, I'd keep the name going for a while.
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    Post by Zalgo the Imminent Wed May 04, 2011 3:35 pm

    "If I'm reading this thing right..." Zalgo said, bringing up the map on his Pipboy and observing the areas within their path, "I'm pretty sure it's Tenpenny Tower, unless you don't wanna waste any time. Then we can rest a bit in Andale." Turned off the map, trying to tune in to Galaxy News Radio again. Everything was still garbled, but what he heard from the staticky voice of Three Dog follows.

    "..cor..ng .. r..orts fr.m ... ever .. hoity toity Tenp...y .ow.r, a g...p of dis.lac.. Ghouls h.ve b..n t..ing to gain entr...e. .h, bu. .ush at l...e A..istar Tenpenny s..s, No zombies, no ...! Co.e .., Al, cut ... ..o..s a b..ak. .. t..y've got ..e caps ... y.u'.. g.t ..e space, it's a ...-w.n, r...t? W..dy. .ay?"

    "Or maybe no Tenpenny Tower. Andale it is! Looks like we're gonna be walkin' well into the night, eh Kristie?" He said, keeping the staticky radio tuned in. The garbled sounds of "Way Back Home" by Bob Crosby & the Bobcats. At least they had good travel music.
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    Post by Burn It Wed May 04, 2011 6:46 pm

    “How the hell did you understand a word of that..” The last bit of static we got, was easy to understand, not a lot of blanks and most was common sense. This one? Either there was more left out, or I’ve lost brain cells between the last and now.

    “Night time strolls, always a pleasant thought when you can’t see in the dark. I’ll be making sure the guns are all loaded before the sun drops, that’s for sure.” I didn’t mind walking at night.. It just wasn’t something I really preferred, than again I don’t think anyone does. But at night, I felt three inches tall; very vulnerable.

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