by I'm scared of losing you..
I'm scared of not being able to talk to you ever again
I'm scared of not seeing you ever...
I know that day will come anyway, but not today.
And hell I hope not tomorrow or in another five decades
Even after all we've been through
Good, bad, and ugly...
You are still someone in so many ways I look up to.
Also many ways I wish I'll never become.
It's very conflicting, all my emotions towards you.
I see you for who you are.
I know deep down you see me...
But what blinds you?
I realized now I don't need you as much as I thought I did.
You were wrong.
I do have friends.
I have people I can count on.
I can manage to stand on my own.
Oh there is so much I can do, and you never realized it.
Or maybe you did, and you were scared to lose me?
I try my best to understand many things.
When I got the news...
I could have sworn for a split second
My world almost crumbled down.
Maybe it was silly
Maybe I over reacted
But I was scared.
All I thought was, not now...
not yet.
All I know that is a fact.
I want to tell you I love you.
I want you to know I do, believe it so and not turn you face away.
Some say it's time and distance we need.
I hope they are right.
Some days I really couldn't care,
Then there are other days I actually feel pain.
I miss you.
Your smile
your laughter
your funny faces..
I did get to see some of that the other day.
You were adorable with your soup.
It been a while that I laughed while drinking a liquid
and you giving me that bizarre look of wth..
and then all the memories of the times we laughed when I had my unfortunate laughing moments.
For a moment I knew you thought of them too
Even if it lasted a second.
I know you miss me, even if you don't say it.
Even if you lash at me with small yet hurtfull unecessary comments.
Or your scoldings or your looks.
I know you love me.
Some day...
But the other day it's when I realized
I am scared
Scared that the someday could never come
Maybe this was just a heads up for me
to try harder for both of us?
I don't know.
I just thank god that I still have time.
But how long?
One day one can be
the next you can not.
I'm scared of not being able to talk to you ever again
I'm scared of not seeing you ever...
I know that day will come anyway, but not today.
And hell I hope not tomorrow or in another five decades
Even after all we've been through
Good, bad, and ugly...
You are still someone in so many ways I look up to.
Also many ways I wish I'll never become.
It's very conflicting, all my emotions towards you.
I see you for who you are.
I know deep down you see me...
But what blinds you?
I realized now I don't need you as much as I thought I did.
You were wrong.
I do have friends.
I have people I can count on.
I can manage to stand on my own.
Oh there is so much I can do, and you never realized it.
Or maybe you did, and you were scared to lose me?
I try my best to understand many things.
When I got the news...
I could have sworn for a split second
My world almost crumbled down.
Maybe it was silly
Maybe I over reacted
But I was scared.
All I thought was, not now...
not yet.
All I know that is a fact.
I want to tell you I love you.
I want you to know I do, believe it so and not turn you face away.
Some say it's time and distance we need.
I hope they are right.
Some days I really couldn't care,
Then there are other days I actually feel pain.
I miss you.
Your smile
your laughter
your funny faces..
I did get to see some of that the other day.
You were adorable with your soup.
It been a while that I laughed while drinking a liquid
and you giving me that bizarre look of wth..
and then all the memories of the times we laughed when I had my unfortunate laughing moments.
For a moment I knew you thought of them too
Even if it lasted a second.
I know you miss me, even if you don't say it.
Even if you lash at me with small yet hurtfull unecessary comments.
Or your scoldings or your looks.
I know you love me.
Some day...
But the other day it's when I realized
I am scared
Scared that the someday could never come
Maybe this was just a heads up for me
to try harder for both of us?
I don't know.
I just thank god that I still have time.
But how long?
One day one can be
the next you can not.
