I refuse to take credit for this poem.

I've been around the world.
I've seen a million things.
I've fought in countless wars,
and dined with many kings.

I've seen the northern lights.
I've counted all the stars.
Been in 'n' out of Saturn's rings
and started life on Mars.

I'm fluent in every language.
I've tasted each cuisine.
I've stayed in every palace,
and lived what people dream.

I was there when it began,
and I know when it will end.
My only enemy is man,
yet you are still my dearest friend.
I invented evolution.
I gave you your first breath.
I was there at your conception
and I'll be there at the time of death.

"Marcus Pete Robert Welfare, RIP."