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Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

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Post n°1

Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Guest Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:13 pm

A prisoner of their own sins from the past, condemned for all eternity in the darkness within their very own souls. They shall fall and die to rise again, as an Angel of the Dark. To soar through the skies to help those who are just about to jump, like they once did, as an attempt to end their lives. They shall lift those who try to fall and perish from this world. They will show them the ultimate fear, with just one penetrating look into their eyes. They shall show them that if once they felt they were in a dead end and totally and utterly alone, it could all be worse if they succeed into killing themselves.
These Angels of the Dark are not only condemned to live for all eternity, but to feel the true loneliness. I’m one of them…All it took was one bad year, one bad month after another, numerous bad weeks, countless bad days and terrible nights filled with remorse, anger, frustration and sadness. All it took was a really tall building, a stormy night and a really clouded mind. Just one step off the ledge and would fall…fall so fast yet it feels forever until you reach your end. The wind on your face, it’s simply relaxing… So relaxing you close your eyes and spread your arms wide open. It really takes only milliseconds but it feels hours of peace. That moment of complete freedom, where you no longer feel like you carry the world over your shoulders. When it’s all over, you realize its one hell of a price to pay in the end just for that little moment.
Once it’s all over, it’s like you are in a deep sleep in which you wake up and your alive, but what you don’t realize yet is that not only people don’t know who you are…you absolutely have no knowledge of yourself nor your past. All you remember is that little moment before your death. As time goes by, you may happen to walk along the street and bump into someone who may have known the real you in your past life, but all you feel is a strange pull, a longing towards them, but that doesn’t matter because not only you came back with amnesia, but with a whole new face.

Front cover:

Last edited by Alcapon on Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:27 pm; edited 4 times in total

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Post n°2

Chapter 1

Post by Guest Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:16 pm

Chapter 1
remember when I first saw myself in a glass window. I didn’t recognize who I was, and I saw something that no one else could see. I had a pair of wings on my back and chains around my wrists. I looked pale, and my eyes seemed empty with big dark shadows around them. At the sight of myself I simply ran off and I hid into a dark alley. I felt so scared and so alone. Everything around me felt cold, and as days went by, I could feel that my wrists felt tighter and my back felt heavier. I believe I stayed for several weeks hidden, barely surviving out of the garbage until someone who seemed a lot like me came along. His name was Jonny; he was nice, took me in, fed me and allowed me to rest at his place. My clothing were all torn up and filthy, he offered me some fresh new ones, a black t-shirt and a jean. He told me how his first experience was when he came to be an Angel of the Dark; it was quite similar to mine. I slept at his place for the night, when I woke up the next morning. He had left me a note. It said that he was leaving me with his place, he would be checking up on me every now and then and I should start a new live get a job during the day or something, and that by night I had a duty to fulfill… Save others from my own fate. But that’s all in its time.

It was a bright morning, so I got dressed and headed outside. It felt weird stepping out under the sun, to see my skin so pale I almost looked dead. I couldn’t help laughing at the irony of it. I was dead, yet not quite. At least the person whoever I was once…was dead, but not now, not me, whoever I may be now at least. I needed to find a job, found the nearest store that needed some job employment. It was a pizza shop. I walked in and there was a woman standing behind the counter. She was white with ash blonde hair and green eyes. Immediately when she saw me, she beamed a smile at me and asked if I needed anything, I smiled back at her and noticed that she started playing with her hair, I asked her where may I sign up for the job that was being offered. She handed me a pen and some sheets to fill in. I looked down at the paper, and simply blinked my eyes. It felt like I was taking a test, in which I don’t remember ever taking a test before, but it felt like I simply had at least once. I knew one needed to study for a test…I never studied for this test. Silly to even see this as a test, anyway I didn’t even know the first step of taking this test, I didn’t know my name least of all where I was from and where I lived. I felt stupid, but I knew I wasn’t. I mean if I just randomly allowed myself to think about things, I new a lot of stuff that most likely not everyone knew. Yet when it came to personal details, I was completely blank.

I looked at the girl, she was still standing in front of me, playing with her hair and smiling, I gave her a slight nervous smile and then looked down at my paper. I decided to take a seat nearby and get myself thinking. I looked at the space in blank where it asked for my name, still had no clue what to put. I guess since I came back from the dead, and no one knew me I had a chance to reinvent myself, wasn’t that what Jonny had advised me to do? I remember him telling me how he had to move from town to town, making a new identity for him self about every twenty years. Apparently it seems that we never age and he has been doing this forever a thousand years already. I have so many questions, and doubt I’m glad he will be around now and then to help.

I’m guessing maybe some time had passed since the woman had handed me the paper, because she was asking me if I was done already. I was so lost in my own thoughts I still haven’t been able to think of a name for myself yet. Spontaneously in the end I simply grabbed the pen and wrote the name I would be known for several years to come, Charles Dawn.

Last edited by Alcapon on Thu Nov 25, 2010 12:39 pm; edited 1 time in total

Burn It

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Post n°3

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Burn It Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:35 pm

Kristie likes ^.^

Jade Hawk

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Post n°4

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Jade Hawk Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:31 pm

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Post n°5

Chapter 2

Post by Guest Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:36 am

Today I started my first day at work. I got myself ready and headed straight to the pizza shop. I was pretty nervous when I walked in. I saw Lisa, who was the girl who attended to me the other day, was behind the counter. She waved at me and seemed as chirpy as last time.
“Hello Charles, ready for your first day of work?” She greeted me as I walked up next to her. She was smiling as usual and her hand was over my chest. I simply put up a smile. I wasn’t so sure ho precisely to act. She was flirting with me. Smiling seemed like the only logical thing. “You are a quiet one aren’t you?” she asked, I simply shrugged and smiled some more. She gave me a brief summary of what I should be doing. Once she was done, I headed on to grab a rag and went off to clean a table nearby where a couple had recently left. I swear this seemed like a boring day job; cleaning tables, mopping floors, filling up the salt and pepper containers, and attending people. Did I do this in my previous life? If so, no wonder I committed suicide. At least I still had a sense of humor. Jonny said that even though I didn’t remember my past life, I still had my personality. I heard a loud serious voice in the background, “Charles, get back to work and stop daydreaming!” That was my manager. I got to stop letting my thoughts carry me away.
Hours later it was already break time. I decided to get myself a pizza since it was practically free for me seeing as I was working here. I was already sitting down when Lisa came along and sat next to me. She started talking to me none stop barely could keep up with what she was saying. I think she was talking something about a party last week, but I didn’t catch much what was yapping on about. So I kind of space out in my own thoughts when I heard my name being called.

“Charles? Charles?”
“Hmm? Yeah?” I turned facing Lisa who was frowning.
“Did you listen to my question?” she asked me, and I was still a bit slow.
“Umm.. Well no… not really. Sorry, what was it?”
“What are your plans for the summer?”
“I guess nothing…”
“One would think that a hunky guy like you would have mayor plans with a special someone.”
“Special someone?” I looked down at my hand; I felt hers over mine. There was no doubt she was flirting with me like she did earlier. I don’t know how serious she is, if she is just naturally like this, but I do know this. I don’t think I want anything with anyone till I know myself a bit more. Just not wise to. I cleared my throat and pulled my hand away. But, the possibility of making plans for the summer with her didn’t so too bad after all.
“Well I don’t but what do you have in mind?” I asked her, but at the precise moment someone walked in. Suddenly the air felt so tight, something was different. A negative vibe, I turned around and looked at a girl who had just walked in. I felt that all this feelings I had where oriented towards her. She seemed ok, holding up her stance but there was something there. Something dark and clouded all around her, I looked back at Lisa who seemed to have noticed my change of mood. She looked slightly confused, maybe the face expression of confusion I carried myself, or the fact that I was squeezing my cup a bit too much. Was this what Jonny had explained to me the other day? That I would be aware of certain emotions people carry around or something? I decided to stand up and walk over towards the table that the girl had sat at. I smiled at her, “Hi.” She looked at me slowly and slightly smiled. The closer I was next to her, the more I felt like I had a huge weight over my shoulders and my wrists tight. I tried making eye contact with her but she evaded me, and looked away. Then she asked, “Hey, you got some pepperoni pizza slices ready?” I nodded, “I believe we do, let me check, by the way I’m Charles.” I extended out my hand and she took it, suddenly I felt dizzy and almost dropped down on his knees. I wasn’t sure what the hell happened. I heard her voice in the back of my head.

“Are you ok?” She was kneeling right in front of me. She was looking at me very concerned. Her hand was on my shoulder. That didn’t help me not one bit. I felt that the weight unbearable, her touch was agonizing to me. I managed to whisper, “Yes, I will be.” Seemed like Lisa noticed what had happened because she was on her way towards me. I practically collapsed on the floor. I slowly managed to take a seat on a chair nearby. I looked at the girl who I was planning to attend. Her name was Miley, she was seventeen and her parents tend to fight a lot. She cuts herself when no one’s was watching. Her ankles seemed to be her favorite spot. She curls up at night in a corner in her room with her ipod blasting her eardrums as loud as they can especially when her parents would be arguing. Sometimes glasses and vases would be broken. She hated that. She hated everything around her. She hated herself. When she had taken my hand it felt like I was there in her memories, experiencing everything that she was living in all her years. All of seemed like a huge jolt of flashes in seconds, which I believe was what had made me dizzy. I managed to lean over towards her and whispered in her ear, “Miley, hang in there, it will be alright.” She looked at me confused and slowly stood up and looked down at me, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” She turned around and walked away quickly. Lisa poked me, “What was that all about?” I didn’t know what to say to her, how could I even explain this to her?
“I well…umm I don’t know.”
“Well don’t do that again. You spooked the costumer away and Bob our boss won’t be too happy if that keeps happening.”
“Yeah sure, I think I need to go. I’m not feeling too hot today. Would that be ok?”
“Yes, I don’t want you spooking away anymore of our costumers today. See ya tomorrow.”

Last edited by Alcapon on Thu Nov 25, 2010 12:40 pm; edited 1 time in total

Jade Hawk

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Post n°6

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Jade Hawk Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:14 am

Jadey likes!

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Post n°7

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Guest Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:11 pm

Yay!

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Post n°8

Chapter 3

Post by Guest Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:15 pm

Back at my apartment I opened my refrigerator; it didn’t have much inside, just a few beer and water bottles. I picked out a water bottle and opened it, taking in huge gulps. Then I heard something behind me and I turned around. I saw Jonny leaning against the counter.

“Hey there Charles, that’s what you call yourself right?”

“Yeah, Charles Dawn.”

“Not bad, so I see you had your first day at work, and your first charge perhaps?”

“Have you been watching me?”

“Just checking up on you. I know how hard it is at the very beginning. Sometimes when a person walks you, it ends up changing your whole vibe. You will get used to it.”

“Pfft… right.”

“Seriously, in time you’ll learn how to control it. And you won’t be collapsing every time you take someone’s hand.”

“I wanted to ask you about that. I mean I took her hand and I was sucked into her memories… Does that happen to every time?”

“Not really, and it only happens if you touch some ones palm, or face. It’s a gift. That eventually you will get used to it. And you can learn to withstand the emotional bombardment.”

“Don’t we all have that?”

“No, it’s a gift which only some have.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said, are you thick headed or something? It’s a gift which makes all Angels of the Dark different. Some have it others don’t, and there are several other gifts that make one unique.”

“So you are saying that each of us, we are different?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have some sort of gift?”

“Yes, I have a touch of bliss.”

“Touch of bliss?”

“Yes, I can touch someone’s chest and send a wave of pure joy into their heart. It help those who have clouded minds to hang in a little bit longer before I give them the ultimate fear.”

“I don’t get exactly how that ultimate fear actually works, it sounds so cruel and I don’t see how it changes things.”

“The ultimate fear certainly makes you think twice before you kill yourself. Sadly sometimes it doesn’t work but then that’s no longer our problem.”

“You mean just like that?”

“Yes, just like that.”

“But I thought we were like saviors.”

“Yes, but it’s a punishment. If we were truly saviors we’d do this on our own free will, we wouldn’t be bound to walk around feeling chains on our wrists. Saviors my friend is someone who is doing a self less act and not because you’re bound to. We are condemned, why else you think we aren’t called just Angels, or Angels of light or the Saviors? No we are Angels of the Dark. Yes we save lives but only to spare ourselves.”

“What do you mean about ‘spare ourselves’?

“You’ll see for yourself. Try spending a long time without saving any souls and tell me how you feel. I got to go now.”

“Wait!”

It was already too late, he had jumped out of the window and disappeared into he clouds.

Last edited by Alcapon on Thu Nov 25, 2010 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total

SinsOfEli

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Post n°9

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by SinsOfEli Sat Nov 20, 2010 1:36 pm

It's goin pretty good hun Clap

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Post n°10

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Guest Sat Nov 20, 2010 1:46 pm

Thank you

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Post n°11

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Burn It Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:45 pm

S'il vous plait ^.^

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Post n°12

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Guest Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:53 pm

When I find the time I will post up more for you Al. Probs tomorrow at 11:35am my time.

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Post n°13

Chapter 4

Post by Guest Tue Nov 23, 2010 4:06 pm

It was night already; I had spent so many hours simply staring at the ceiling seeing the fan turn. I sat up and looked around what seemed to be my room. A box as a night table, just a cushion and a white thin sheet. A small window to my left side, and in front of me was a stained old couch with beer bottles and empty pizza boxes, and Cheeto bags on the floor, behind that was a pitiful kitchen with a rusty old fridge. I bet it was from the 50’s or something. Seemed like Jonny didn’t have much company. I wonder where he is staying right now since he gave me this place.

I stood in front of the window where I saw Jonny flying out. I still didn’t know exactly what he meant about sparing ourselves.

I leaned out of the window, raindrops fell on my face. I just took off my shirt and leaped out of the window. As I fall an incredible speed I felt how the rain crashed onto my skin.

I decided to land on a tall building nearby and looked down at the city. It was beautiful sight. Why did I leap in my previous life? Was it so bad my troubles that I couldn’t see the beauty in life? I flapped my wings and took off again. I kept close by the clouds. Jonny advised me to fly best when there’s clouds. After hours of flying, I eventually closed my eyes and ended up on top of a roof top from some house. I don’t know how exactly I ended up there but I did, and it felt like I was supposed to be here. I dropped down on the ground and opened a window Walked into a room that seemed oddly familiar. I looked down at a corner and see a girl sitting there with a razor in her hand and her left ankle had some fresh cuts. She looked at me, seemed confused and scared. I walked closer to her, I saw her cringe up into a tighter ball and her hand still stretched out in case I got closer. I kneeled down and reached out my hand.

“Take it easy Miley. I wont hurt you.”

She waved her razor at me.

“How do you know my name, what are you doing here?”

“Relax please, I know you having a tough time but trust me…”

She took my hand, I know it wasn’t smart of me to do this considering what happened last time, but I have to learn how to control my gift and I’ll start practicing with Miley. I collapsed, seemed like this time I was out for a while. My head was on Miley’s thighs. As I opened my eyes I saw her sliding her fingers through my hair.

“You’re an Angel aren’t you?”

“Not quite the average Angel.”

“I know.”

“Yes, I’ve read books and heard stories of your sort. I just didn’t believe they really existed.”

“Well we do.”

I started to sit back up but I felt too woozy as if I’ve taken in ten beers or something. It was one hell of a jolt I took this time. Stronger than earlier at the pizza store. I fell back down.

“You need to take it easy. You look green.”

“Hmm…Funny I thought I’d look rather gray.” I smiled slightly.

After a while laying down and talking to Miley I finally got the strength to sit back up. I grabbed Mileys hand which she was still holding the razor. I pulled it away from her slowly.

“I don’t want you cutting yourself anymore.”

She stared at me, I could see she was trying not to say no to me. In the end she nodded and whispered. “I’ll try.”

I stood up and headed towards the window when I felt her take my wrist. Her touch didn’t feel so heavy like it had earlier. I turned around and looked at her.

“It’s going to be ok you know.”

She leaned over my shoulder and I held her in my arms. I guided her to her bed and tucked her in, then told her I expected her to eat her pepperoni pizza that she didn’t eat today. I took off and headed home.

Last edited by Alcapon on Thu Nov 25, 2010 12:44 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post n°14

Chapter 5

Post by Guest Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:08 pm

Stretching feels awfully good, but the sun hitting my face not so cool I finally opened my eyes and I see Jonny leaning against the wall.

“What are you doing here?”

“Checking up on you. Couldn’t help noticing that you went for your first duty night.”

“Yeah, went pretty well I guess.”

“Charles, you can’t get personal with them. It’s best not to.”

“Relax, I bet she understands. She knows quite a lot about us.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Well I have to get ready for work. I plan to fix this dump you left me for that cash.”

“Hmm…strange I always felt this was a wonderful place.”

“Seriously, you got to be kidding right?”

“Everyone to there own perspective, later.”

And he simply took off like last time. I got ready and headed to work.

I was kind of late and when Lisa saw me she rolled her eyes.

“You’re late Charles. Bob was asking for you and I said you had a serious case of diarrhea and was in the bathroom, He was disgusted with the details I gave him, he didn’t even bother to check if it were true, so you are covered.”

“Oh wow…ha ha ha funny… Well thanks.”

“Anytime cutie.”

I smiled, turned around and got myself working.

I was cleaning the counter top will someone from behind covered my eyes.

“Guess who?”

I smiled and grabbed her hands.

“Miley.”

“You’re right.”

I turned around “So how you feeling today?”

“Quite good actually. I’m ready for my pizza.”

“ha ha nice well go get a table, I will have it there.”

She said thank you and took off. Lisa came behind me.

“Hey wasn’t that the girl you spooked yesterday?”

“Umm yeah.”

“Well you two seem friendly to each other. What’s the story?”

“No story just that after I left I bumped into her and apologized and umm…offered a free pizza for today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really.”

“Hmm…ok what ever you say then.”

She tapped my shoulder ad left to attend some costumers. I grabbed two slices of pepperoni and headed towards Miley.

“Here we go, and they are fresh.” told

“Yay! Thanks, sit with me.”

“Oh I don’t know, my boss wouldn’t be too happy if he caught me.”

“Ok then…”

“Sorry maybe some other time during my break?”

“Sounds good.”

“Ok I got to go and attend some tables over there.”

She nodded and I went back to work. Then Jonny came in. I bet he’s been watching me all day.

“Hey Jonny, can I help you with something?”

“Sure, cheese pizza?”

“How many slices?”

“Two boxes.”

“To go?”

“Nah, to eat here.”

“You going to eat two boxes here?”

“Yes, why not?”

“Two boxes?”

“A big boy like me needs the energy.”

“Umm…ok.”

“You’ll understand what I mean. Give it a few days, and even two boxes wont be enough.”

I looked at him surprised and turned around to get his pizza. Miley finished her slices, but stayed reading a book she brought. Finally once the pizza for Jonny was ready I took it to his table and saw him enjoying slice by slice his cheese pizza. Lisa was in shock how easy he made it seem to eat all he was eating. I believe by the time he was half way through his second box he had people staring in astonishment. Even Miley had stopped reading, she just pretended so she wouldn’t seem too obvious. Once he was done, I came along to him to pick up the empty boxes.

“Wow…umm anything to drink?”

“Hmm how about a gallon of water.”

“I’m going to be like that?”

“Yes.”

“I need to get a better job to pay the bills.”

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Post n°15

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Guest Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:50 am

Any comments? Constructive Critism? Feedback anyone?

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Post n°16

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Guest Fri Dec 03, 2010 2:06 pm

Finally I got my first pay. It felt pretty good. My daily diet had been pizza slices breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haven’t had to eat as much as Jonny yet. Maybe that was another gift for me, now that’s me thinking hopefully. It would certainly spare me a few bucks if that were possible.

“Hey there hunky.”

“Hey Lisa, what are you up to now?”

“Well the guys and I are going to hang out. Every payday we like to celebrate. You in?”

“Umm…I’d love to but you see…”

She cut me off mid sentence and simply pulled me along outside with everyone else.

“I’m not taking a no from you. It’s your first pay, with more reason you should celebrate.”

“But Lisa..”

“No buts. You are all so uptight, learn to loosen up Hun.”

I simply grunted and tagged along. I guess maybe she was right. I should loosen up a little. Few minutes later I found myself in a club with them. Lisa went straight to the dance floor with some girls. Tim, Jason and Will were some other guys that worked with us. I sat with them to drink down some beer. After a while talking and nursing my beer, Lisa came up to me, and pulled me towards the dance floor. I hesitated at first but later on seemed like I had done some dancing in my previous life. I wasn’t so ad after all. Suddenly I felt the whole place swirl around me and I started to feel somewhat sick. I could feel drops of sweat concentrating over my brows.

“Charles, are you ok?”

I hear Lisa asking me but I couldn’t have myself responded, my mouth felt dry, my wrists felt extremely tight.

“Charles, you’re looking pale…Will get over here!”

My knees were about to buckle but Will got behind me just in time.

“Dude, are you okay?”

“Will let’s take him outside for fresh air.”

Will carried me out with Jason’s help. Lisa followed behind them. I sat down. Sally another girl from work came along with a glass of water. I gulped it down pretty fast. Lisa was rubbing my back and Jason and Will were looking at me concerned.

“Dude seriously, are you okay?”

“Yes Will, thanks guys. I think I just need to get back to my place and rest.”

Sally took my glass and then was holding Jason’s hand.

“You sure that’s all?” she asked

“Yeah I believe that umm… It’s just my sugar went down or something.”

“I’ll say…”said Jason in a low voice and then took off with everyone else except Lisa.

“I’ll take you home, can you stand up?”

“I think so…”

I attempted to get up the first time…failed. The second time I barely made it, and I managed to walk down towards the car. It felt like hours till we got to my place. We both went up the stairs, and we got by the door with out stumbling down too much. I was about to open the door, I looked at Lisa.

“Maybe it shouldn’t be a good idea to follow in.”

“Why not?”

“Because…”

“Look, its ok if you are gay, but I wasn’t thinking about…”

“Gosh no! I…ugh it’s just that my place is filthy an well…”

“Oh so you thought I wanted to…”

“What no!”

“Good to see that finally some color is returning on your face. Now just open the door sweetie. I can’t be all that bad, and I’m just going to make sure you are safely in bed.”

I opened the door and let her stand in the middle of my dump. Her purse simply slipped through her hand and slammed on the floor.

“Oh my god…”

She walked around in circles, kicking some things along the way.

“Oh… my… god…”

“I just looked at her and dipped my hands inside my pockets. I was embarrassed and had no clue what to say.

“Really like…Oh my god, this is just…I’m out of words. I know guys are messy but you…wow.”

She was looking at me and I still had nothing to say back to her.

“This calls for a desperate make over. But don’t worry honey, Lisa will take care of it.”

“Take care of it?”

“Sure, I will paint the walls pink, throw away that stained ugly couch and bring in a flowery one with pink cushions to match the walls, maybe some fancy curtains, carpet on the floor, a cute girly teddy bear on the bed…”

“Wait hold on…Are you crazy?”

“Ha ha I’m playing with you, but really leave it to me ok?”

“Why should I trust you? I mean you like want to girlify my place.”

“I was just joking, I’ll come by tomorrow with some back up. And you may not peak while we doing the changes.”

“And where am I suppose to be during that time?”

“The doctors.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I don’t know if you’re diabetic or what but you have something so check it out.”

“Fine.”

“Well you look good to me now, so I’ll leave you to rest. I have a big day tomorrow, judging by the place.”

Lisa simply strolled out and left me alone with my dump.

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Post n°17

Chapter 7

Post by Guest Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:32 pm

Chapter 7

Something cold splashed on my face and I jumped out of my bed to find myself with three women. Lisa, Sally and Brenda.

“Morning sleepy head.” They all said in unison.

“How did you get in?”

Sally and Brenda walked around the place inspecting and I guess exchanging ideas. Lisa poked my chest then answered.

“Seems like you didn’t lock your door. Now go on, get dressed. You have a doctors appointment.”

“Huh?”

“I called Dr. Simons, he has a practice just four blocks away, and your appointment is in an hour or less. Hurry up now.”

“What the…”

She pushed me out of my apartment and threw me my clothing.

“Hey!”

She closed my door and locked it. I banged the door and all Lisa said was for me to go away, go to the doctor and stay away for a few hours after that. I headed down the stairs, seemed like Jonny was waiting for me, carrying a grin on his face.

“Explain to me how you have a small army of women in the apartment?”

I simply rolled my eyes at him.

“It’s just Lisa and the girls, they going to do a make over in the apartment.”

“Yes I see, your room is going to be turned into a Hello Kitty one, but since I hear your gay…”

“What in the world…You spying on me or something?”

He started laughing. “I just follow you around now and then. Checking up on you.”

“I’ve noticed that much, but how come I don’t see you or feel your presence?”

“Well you aren’t in touch with your senses so you don’t feel me and as to seeing me, we can become invisible to others and even show our true selves to others.”

“You mean like what we see when we look at our own reflection?”

“Precisely.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“So you can show off with Miley? And who knows what you’ll do once our walking around invisible.”

“Hey, what do you mean by that?”

“Just saying. This is all to new to you and you just might get carried away.”

“I guess I know what you mean, but you can’t stand there and tell me you are a saint.”

“We might have come from the dead as Angels of the Dark, but we certainly not saints. We are as sinful as humans can get.”

“Ironic, you seem to be all Mr. Right. So are you going to teach me?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think you’re ready, but if you like, try learning on your own.”

“But I don’t know where to even to start.”

“Ok, fine but only because you can’t be showing your face to whoever while you on duty because then you’d have trouble. Otherwise I wouldn’t. Have that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now run along, you have a doctors appointment don’t you?”

“How do you...Oh never mind. Yeah I do. Later.”

I walked four blocks till I reached the clinic; I entered and asked the secretary about my appointment. She told me to take a seat and wait twenty minutes at least, so I took a seat and grabbed a magazine that was next to me and skimmed through it. I came to an article, which caught my attention. As I read the words, it felt like I knew this person. But how was that? Why should some random anonymous columnist writing an article mean something to me? I must have read the article ten times till my name was called. Took me a while to react but I finally got up and headed towards the doctors office.

“Morning Doc.”

He told me to take a seat and started asking me questions, like my age, name, if I’ve been taking any medication, drugs, sexually active. Doctors stuff I suppose. He told me to go into the examining room and I saw him put on some latex gloves and a mask on.

“Ok Charles, strip down, we going to give you a rectal exam.”

“A what?! Are you crazy?”

All that went through my mind was that I was going to kill Lisa, then the doctor started laughing.

“I love how people sometimes react when I say that.”

“Whew, what a relief.”

“Well, I hope you aren’t afraid of needles at least. I need some of your blood.”

“Nah, I’m fine I think.”

I saw him opening a new syringe. My veins were pretty easy to find. As he got my arm he started to insert he needle into my vein to extract some of my blood. I felt kind of weird while he was doing that as if seeing the needle into my skin reminded me of something unpleasant. It wasn’t because it hurt, I didn’t feel anything, it was mostly the fact that the needle was going into my skin, and opened up some memory in which I couldn’t identify.

“There it’s done. Are you al right?”

The doctor was holding the syringe that was already filled with my blood. He seemed like he was studying me. I believe I blanked out and gone pale.

“Yeah I think so, maybe I’m afraid of needles after all.”

“Are you sure? It seemed something else.”

“Don’t worry I’m fine.”

He looked at me long and hard, but then turned around and filled up a small test tube with m blood and he tagged it. Then he picked up his stethoscope and checked my heart rate and wrote something in a notebook. Then he checked my lungs and blood pressure. I noticed he wrote some more in his notebook.

“What are you writing?”

“Nothing, just notes, of small things that I’ve been noticing.” He frowned. “It’s weird how fast you pulse. It’s like a bird, and your lungs, impressive. As for your blood pressure, pretty high. Yet you seem healthy as a stallion.”

“Oh”

Why didn’t Jonny warn me about this, or did he want e finding out. The doctor said he’d have my results in a day or two. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know what he’d find something in my blood.

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°18

Chapter 8

Post by Guest Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:33 pm

Chapter 8

After the appointment I kept walking further and ended up in front of a park. I was sat on a bench. There was an artificial pond behind me. I realized that I was animal friendly. The birds liked me since they were perched over my shoulder, and walked around me allowed me to pet them. It was actually nice. Even the ducks from the pond would come close as I leaned over. Seems nature is my friend.

I think Lisa should be done by now, so I got up and headed home. I got to my door and decided to open it hoping it wasn’t still locked. I stepped in and it was a huge facelift. I actually had a decent bed and a real night table with an alarm clock and a night lamp. New blue curtains on the window, the walls were painted, all white except one side, which was with a dark burnt red paint. My couch was no longer an old stained one, it was actually a nice black one. There was a small table in front of it the couch, and had some magazines all pilled. I browsed through them quickly and notice one of them was a Play Boy magazine. I rolled my eyes…Lisa…She was quite the funny one. Then there was this other magazine; just like the one I had seen at the practice. I stared down at it thinking about how I felt when I read that particular article. The article itself wasn’t important. It was just a plain article, nothing important. Some environmental issue which has nothing to do with me.

“You like?”

I turned around and found myself smiling at Lisa. She really had done a terrific job.

“It’s not as depressing as before. Thanks a lot.”

“Yeah no problem, I had fun fixing, not so much cleaning. This place was filthy.”

“I did warn you, but really I’m thankful, any way for me to repay you? Give me the bill.”

“Take it as a gift from me and the gals as a welcome to town and an early birthday.”

“Seriously?”

“Mmhmm…”

“But…”

“Charles, enjoy it, take what’s given to you and don’t put so many buts and walls ok?”

“I guess I could try…Thank you.”

“Now you owe me and the gals dinner.”

“I owe you?”

“First you were complaining that you couldn’t pay, now that you can pay in some way, your complaining? I don’t get you Charles.”

“I just don’t go out much, but sure for you and the girls I’ll make the exception.”

“Ooh you better Charles. You don’t want three angry bitches.”

She turned around and headed towards the kitchen. The old fridge was there still but seems like. She worked through the rust or something because it looked pretty clean and almost new looking. She took out two beer bottles and handed me one. She explained to me that the she didn’t get rid of the fridge since it was an antique, ad thought it should be good if I kept it especially given that it worked perfectly fine. She also showed me the new stove she got me. I was a small gas food, perfect for me to cook my meals. She handed me a cookbook, she guessed I couldn’t cook which was so true. I couldn’t thank her enough. I had to ask…

“Why are you so nice?”

“It makes me feel good, and makes all the bad feelings go away.”

“Bad feelings?”

She looked down for a second, then jolted back up, changing subject.

“Hey we should make a small party like a house warming party here!”

“What?”

“Yea you know, invite friends, have music, food and liquor?”

“Ok maybe but why the sudden change of subject.”

“Nothing Charles, some things are just better not known.”

I looked at her skeptically, but allowed her to plan the party giving me all the details. After that she took off and left me alone with me apartment. I got kind of hungry and opened the fridge. I knew I wasn’t going to find anything since I haven’t really gone to the supermarket. Lisa was one complete woman. She and the girls bought me eggs, bread, cheese, ham, milk and some other stuff. Wow my apartment must have made them feel sorry for me. I fixed myself up a sandwich; it actually tasted good. It’s much better than Pizza. I was getting fed up with it. Lisa had brought a couple of magnets from the pizza store. She had already left me little notes. One of them were some phone numbers, hers, and some other people at work. Then there was another that said- TO DO: get a house phone and cell phone. Get a stereo with ipod connection. Shopping, call Lisa. NEED desperate new wardrobe.

She was one of a kind. I grabbed a bottle of water and sipped it slowly but almost chocked on it when I saw what looked like Jonny flying in through the window. It didn’t surprise me that he was flying; what did it was the fact that he was in his true form. It was spooky as hell.

He changed back into his normal sel and seemed to be enjoying my reaction.

“Pretty neat right?”

“Want to give me a heart attack or something?”

“Oh please you are just as hideous and scaring looking as me.”

“So? Why you think I don’t have mirrors in this place? Lisa had placed one, but I flipped it around.”

“She did an ok job.”

“An ok? It’s terrific!”

“Like I said before, everyone to their own perspective.”

“Yeah what ever, you are just jealous. Want a beer?”

“Sure.”

I went to the fridge and handed him his beer. He was already getting comfortable on the couch and I sat next to him.

“How did the doctors appointment go?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

I started telling him everything from the moment I walked in and left. I excluded the magazine part. I had a feeling he might tell me to just ignore it and I didn’t want to ignore it. He explained to me it was normal and that he was keeping a close eye on the doctor, because he knows he will find something weird with my blood. He assured me that the doctor was trustworthy and that it important I find one that could learn to treat me. We might live for an eternity but we still do bleed and get hurt, so we need doctors.

Engi

Engi: Devious Chibi; Posts : 1680
Join date : 2010-10-06
Location : Right here.

Post n°19

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Engi Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:31 am

Alright, a couple things that I noticed:

The first thing I shall pick at: Fragments! The first sentence is a sentence fragment; consider putting a colon after "souls" =\. The third sentence is also a fragment; consider replacing "to soar" with "they will soar." "Just one step off the ledge and would fall" is a frag; it is missing a subject. I'm assuming you're looking for "I would fall". (again, fragments!!)Then there are ellipses (dot dot dots~). They should not be used in narration. After that, removing contractions would make it more formal. Using an adverb other than "really" will give the writing more depth.

Finally, please watch your tense. You've switched from First Person Past to Second Person Present which is very confusing.

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°20

Re: Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Post by Guest Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:30 am

xD yes I know. This hasn't been edited not one bit >.< just typed straight from my notebook with my jeroglyphic handwritting xD and wrote 23 chapters in 8 days

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°21

Chapter 9

Post by Guest Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:53 am

Chapter 9

Flying felt so good, the wind on my face, the freedom one feels, it was like paradise. I decided to visit Miley. This time she was on her rooftop looking up at the sky. I landed softly behind her.

“I was hoping you would come.”

“Are you okay?”

It was silly to ask her since I could feel her pain and frustration. I sat next to her and placed an arm around her, she leaned in close and I held her there for a while.

“It’s just not fair. I’m like the perfect child. Straight A’s, student role model, conservative. I do all that I am told, but it’s not enough. They just don’t care, They don’t see ME!”

“It’s ok…”

“No it’s not, they fight all the time, they ugh… I’m just sick of it all”

I looked down at her ankle and passed my fingertips lightly over her scars.

“I’m glad there aren’t any fresh ones.”

“I try, but sometimes I just want to do it again, I want to feel that pain that makes me forget about everything else for a bit. I miss it.”

“Show me.”

I stretched out my hand and she looked down at it.

“You sure?”

“Yes, show me how it feels like, show me how much you miss it.”

“You might collapse.”

“I’ll learn eventually not to.”

She slowly placed her palm over mine and I was sucked into her memory where she would be in a dark playing with her razor for a bit, then slightly pull down her black sock and started to slice over her pale white skin on her ankle. The feeling was slightl rewarding the emotional pain was all blurred in with the physical one. The blood slowly surged out, the color is a beautiful one, an intense scarlet. I want another cut, yes, that feels good, the blood looks so rich.

No more cutting, I miss it, my fingers itch, just one cut one wont hurt, it’s been a week since the last one.

I almost slipped away but Miley had me, I guess I was back to reality. I looked at her and her eyes were watery, she got a hold on my face and whispered softly.

“You see?”

“Yes I do.”

“It’s addicting, I want it…”

“But you’re strong.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are, it’s been how long already?”

“Nearly two weeks”

“You see, hang in there, take it a day by day.”

Miley fell asleep in my arms, we were still on the rooftop. I decided to stay there for a while just thinking and admitting the sky. I knew several people might be doing the same thing, looking up at the sky making silent promises and small wishe. But out of those several people I knew one specific person was doing the same.

“The sky is beautiful isn’t it?”

“Hey Jonny, yeah it is something.”

“It sure does leave us to wonder.”

“Do you know why?”

“Why I killed myself, yes.”

“Why?”

“That doesn’t concern you and it’s best not to go and finding out why you jumped if you’r thinking about it.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t, the past is the past. Leave it to rest. Take Miley to her room.”

“In a while.”

“Charles, don’t get personal.”

Just as he came, he left quietly. I just stayed staring at the stars some more.

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°22

Chapter 10

Post by Guest Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:55 am

Chapter 10

My stomach is growing a lot and I already had four slices of pizza. Didn’t seem enough. I guess Jonny was right after all. I can’t always be eating like this everyday. Lisa and Sally both appeared and served themselves something to drink.

“Hey Charles, you still owe us dinner.”

“Oh yea, how about tonight?”

“Sounds good, where?”

“Umm…you guys know you way around, how about you tell me.”

“Ok, Rellie’s place, they got good Italian.”

“Where’s that?”

They told me how to get there and we agreed to meet around seven. Last time I was in a public place I almost collapsed. I hope this time I don’t.

Once I was at the apartment I was going to change. Not that I had plenty of options. I’m practically always wearing the same black t-shirt and jeans if I’m not wearing my work uniform. I should really take Lisa up with her offer, update my wardrobe.

I got myself a taxi and headed to Rellie’s place. Got there just in time, 7:01. Not so bad. I went in the restaurant and asked for a table of four. I didn’t have to wait long; Lisa, Brenda and Sally came like five minutes later. We had fun talking and sipping some wine. I was lucky sitting with three beautiful women. The waiter came along to take our orders and it was a good thing we didn’t have to wait too long because I think I was starving. I asked for a huge plate of lasagnia casserole, the ladies asked for a salad. Once the food was brought I didn’t waste much time. They were still half way through their salad, and my lasagnia was gone. Lisa had to make a comment, “take it easy there. Don’t choke on it.” I think I was embarrassed when I asked for another lasagnia, but this one to tgo because I knew they would say something if they saw me eating it now. Then we ordered for some dessert. Sally and Brenda shared a flan, as for Lisa she didn’t ask for anything. I had the most delicious Ricotta cheesecake ever. Not that I recall having to try many or any at all before, but still it was great. Once we were done I asked for the check. Sally and Brenda took a cab home, but as for Lisa she only lived a few blocks away so I offered to walk her home. It was a quiet walk till we reached the front steps of her house.

“Well that wasn’t so bad now was it Charles?”

“No not really, but you were boring as hell.”

“Oh that’s so nice of you to say.”

“I know.”

She leaned over slowly. I believe I was backing off a little. She kissed my cheek and headed towards her door opening it. Then she pauses and looked back.

“You know Charles…nevermind, Goodnight”

“No what?”

“We still have that house warming party pending.”

“Yeah, we sure do.”

“Next week?”

“Good idea.”

“But first, we have to go shopping, I’ve never seen you with anything but your uniform and that same black shirt and jeans.”

“Oh…hahaha umm… Yeah.”

“Saturday?”

“Ok.”

She finally walked into her house, I turned around and headed towards somewhere dark so no one could see me take off and soar into the sky. Jonny still has to teach me how to turn invisible. I believe I flew for hours when I looked towards my left and saw Jonny flying right next to me. We just kept flying ahead side by side for a while, then we landed on a building. He told me then he wanted t show me something. I saw him take out a knife and even before I could react he had grabbed my arm. I had no idea what were his intentions, but didn’t like the idea that it involved a knife and no explanations. I tried struggling but he was far much stronger than me. He asked me to trust him and to stay still, but I couldn’t do that. He managed to slice the knife over my wrist. It hurt a bit, he let me go. I was about to take off when he told me to wait. I wasn’t planning on listening to him, but then I saw him slicing his own wrist. I was slightly confused. He asked me to come closer, and I did. I must have been nuts to do so considering after what he had done without much warning. He took my arm and placed his cut over mine, held our wrists in place. I’m not sure how to entirely describe it all, but I had major flashes of different images from his life. I stared into his eyes, as some of the images were very confusing. Then seemed like he had more control of what he wanted to share with me and skipped some things I suppose. He ended up showing me how he had learned some things like him turning invisible or him being his true form. Then all the flashing images of his memories seized. I heard him say some sort of weird incantation, which didn’t make much sense at all to me. I just noticed that the wound on my wrist started to slightly disappear slowly, just leaving me with a very light scar. Then I heard him speak but I was looking at him, and I noticed his lips never moved. Again I hear his voice, but how? I hadn’t taken my eyes off of him, his lips still weren’t moving.

“Charles, we are blood brothers now.” That’s what I heard him say, but like I said, no lip movement going on there…I tried speaking to him out loud but he silenced me and then heard him say, “Focus, communicate with your mind, try it.” I tried but it didn’t work, I had no idea what I was even doing. “Charles, think of me, search for me, close your eyes and search me in your thoughts, in your blood.” I tried doing what he told me, I closed my eyes shut and focused. After a few attempts I believe I nailed it.

“Jonny?”

“You did it kid.”

“I did?”

“You are talking to me without moving your lips aren’t you?”

“Oh yeah! Man this is cool!”

“Yeah yeah, now from my memories, try getting yourself invisible.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Just try it, focus hard and try.”

I shut my eyes and tried.

“Charles, you looking constipated.”

“What?”

“Ok, let’s try this. Have you seen Naruto?”

“That’s a cartoon right? Whats that got to do with anything?”

“Well you know how they have an energy called chackra and they focus on that area?”

Umm…yeah…Don’t tell me we have that too.”

“No but we do have our souls which it’s a form of energy, our energy. Work with that, focus on that, focus on what you need and want.”

I looked at him for a while and then suddenly I didn’t see him anymore.

“See try it.”

It started to thunder a bit, but no rain yet. I tried keeping my focus, getting in touch with my soul, finding myself, and what I wanted.

“I can’t”

“What you mean you can’t?”

“I’m doing what you are telling me, and I can’t.”

“Then you aren’t wanting the right thing. FOCUS!”

I believe he was starting to get annoyed by the tone of his voice. Maybe he was right. I’m not thinking about turning invisible. I was thinking about something I wanted all right, but I didn’t even know what it was and that certainly got me nowhere. Only thing that id did get me was an annoyed Jonny. I saw how he looked at me impatiently.

“Charles, I got to go, but you keep practicing.”

He jumped off the ledge and flew off.

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Charles Dawn Angel of the Dark

Chapter 1

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Chapter 2

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Chapter 3

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Chapter 4

Chapter 5

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Chapter 7

Chapter 8

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Chapter 9

Chapter 10

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