Broken Strings (Avalon/Dream)

I stood there practically holding my breath as I waited for Adam to answer the question I had posed him about coming into my room with me. As I replayed the way I had asked the question I found that I probably sounded like a weirdo. Immediately I began to worry that he was going to take what I asked to be flirtatious or downright scandalous. He'd hate me! He'd think I was easy and just trying to take advantage of him!
Suddenly I was filled with doubts and worries about the thoughts that were going through is mind as the silent seconds ticked by. Slowly I pushed the door of my room open as the tension between us grew almost unbearable.

His answer came as both a relief but also a disappointment. Relief because it meant that I wasn't going to need to explain myself to him once we got inside but disappointment because.. I suppose because I wanted to spend more time with him. Although we had only really known one another for a what could hardly be called half a day, I felt like I could grow to form a strong friendship with him.
He was different from everyone else who I happened upon throughout my time as an amputee. Unlike the others, who pitied me for having lost a leg, he understood exactly what I was going through.
It was that understanding that truly made me feel at ease around him.

"Oh.. Okay then." I said quietly in a tone that was a little bit sad but I tried my best to keep it friendly. Kind of like I was trying to take his answer to be a rain check for the future. He began to walk away and I turned to do the same, heading into my room slowly, when I heard his voice behind me.
I turned to look at him but he was already making his way down the hall with a graceful step in his walk.
His words echoed in my ears though and once again I found myself smiling.
I had a lovely laugh, huh? Is that so?
The smile remained on my lips as I closed the door of my room and headed further inside.

My body was tired so I did little more than throw my bag onto the ground and plunk myself down on the soft bed that had been supplied by the facility. It was a simple little thing but it was more than good enough for me considering I had spent a year of my life sleeping on little more than a sheet of tarp supported by a weak frame. If that!
I didn't let myself lay back just yet though. I knew that if I did, I was never going to be able to sit back up to take off my prosthetic.

With a sigh and a grunt of discomfort I stood bent double to get my shoes off my foot as it were. I then passed on to my pants, which I pulled off completely, and finally leaned back to take a few deep breaths before beginning the process of getting the prosthetic off completely. By now I had grown used to the ritual but I remembered how difficult the first few months were. It was definitely not something anyone should have to become accustomed to doing.
Finally I got the plastic sheath off what was left of my leg and I leaned back on the bed with a sigh of relief.

It felt good to be free of the tightness of the plastic around my thigh. The ability to walk was worth every ounce of discomfort though.
As I laid there looking up at the ceiling of my room I briefly wondered what Adam was getting up to. Now that I was alone in the confines of my own room with no-one but myself to be with.. I allowed my thoughts to drift wherever they wanted to without stopping them. Of course it just so happened they all wanted to go towards the tall handsome man who I had met earlier in the day.
How could I not think about him?
He was everything a girl could ever want yet at the same time he wasn't. He was beyond that.

I swept through the doors of my apartment building, lacking the grace I had held earlier that day. At this point I was mainly exhausted, and I slumped as I walked up the stairs, counting each one like I always did. Eight, nine…It was one of my regular routines. Count the stairs, drag myself to the door, open it after wiggling the key the right way and nearly falling into my apartment. Paul wasn’t there, probably out with his other friends, but my cat Gordon greeted me by rubbing himself along my leg affectionately. Sighing with a faint smile, I picked him up as I locked the door behind me, burying my face in his fur for a second and groaning into it, making a muffled noise that echoed through the room. Gordon made a kind of annoyed noise and jumped out of my arms, and I heard his paws pattering along the floor as he retreated to…wherever cats go.

Lazily, I kicked off my shoes and dragged myself to my room, falling face-first onto my duvet and groaning again, feeling like a slug. Slowly I brought myself into a sitting position, tossed my bag and jacket beside my bed and lifted my pullover sweater over my head, revealing a soft, cotton t-shirt. Standing, I undid my belt and kicked my pants and boxers off, finding a pair of flannel pajamas on the floor of my room and putting them on.

Although I was tired, and my thoughts were dragging me down, I could feel a small smile slowly brightening my features, as I began to whistle a long-forgotten tune, making it up as I walked barefoot to the kitchen. The apartment was large, set up like an artist’s loft. Paul’s room was next to the bathroom, whereas my room was more of an open space, only separated by a set of old, wooden double doors. My parents got me this apartment, as it was so close to the Fredericks Center. I met Paul a couple of years ago, and he agreed to pay half the rent and put up with my disability, so it was kind of a done-deal.

My happy-go-lucky mood only grew as I put some toast in the toaster, and I openly grinned at my empty apartment, putting some food and water into Gordon’s bowls.
What was making me like this?
Why was I being so silly right now? My body was desperately craving sleep, although the robotic voice on the oven said it was only six thirty when I pressed the ‘speech’ button. Everything here had a ‘speech’ button, and whenever Paul and I were goofing around we’d change the language, or the voices and mock them.
My toast popped up, and I put some raspberry jam on it, pressing the On button on the radio, and sitting at the small kitchen table as jazz flowed through the room. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face if someone held a gun to my head.

A click sounded, and I knew Paul was home. He was an athlete, playing college football and rugby, one of those guys who wore letterman jackets even when he wasn’t in class. Now, he was working at a small local newspaper, writing some goofy sports column. He was a nice guy though, kind of a jerk with the ladies, but I wasn’t one to judge about relationships.

“Hey, make any of that for me?” Paul walked toward the kitchen, grabbing one of my pieces of toast before I could swat him away.
“No, you little bugger.” I growled past a mouthful of bread, hearing him crunch into my second piece as he walked toward his room, that grin still lighting up my face.
“How was your first day of crazy-lessons?” He called from his room as I heard him put whatever he was carrying down.
I walked to the counter, dropping my plate into the sink and getting a glass of water. I heard him walk back into the room, and I shrugged one of my shoulders, trying to hide my expression. I was horrible with stuff like that, my emotions always played on my face much too visibly.
“Whoa, what’s that?” Paul’s voice got that tone where he was about to crack some big, horrible joke.
“What’s what, you dingus?” I shot back at him, leaning against the counter and hearing Gordon jump up, walking beside me and brushing against my arm with a soft ‘mew’.
Paul scoffed, “That smile. You look like you just got laid by the Queen of Sheba.” He cracked himself up, and my grin turned into a full on smile, teeth showing and everything as I felt my cheeks warm up.

“Shut up.” I murmured, walking quickly across the open space, Gordon following me to my room. “There’s this girl…” I paused, running a hand through my hair as I sighed, turning back toward Paul who stood in the kitchen.
“A girl, eh? Is she one of the nuts? Isn’t that illegal or something?” He snickered. “Do you guys must have awesome therapy sessions.”

I picked up a pillow off the couch, and tossed it in his direction. “I said shut up, asshole!” I began to laugh along with him, cheeks probably beet red by now as I retreated to my room, crawling into bed as Gordon followed, trying to crawl on top of me with slightly frustrated noises as his paws kept slipping on the duvet. I buried my face into my pillow and laughed lightly, squeezing my eyes shut as I thought of tomorrow and how quickly I wanted it to be here…and Molly.

My eyes began to slowly close as I stared up at the boring ceiling above me, letting my mind roam free from one thought to another. It didn't matter how much I tried to think about my life though. My thoughts kept going back to the dreamy brown eyes of the blind boy who had somehow become the subject of my most intimate thoughts. All things considered he was probably the very last person in the world I should have developed a crush on, which really was exactly what was happening, seeing as he was about as far out of my league as a person could get.

I turned onto my side to stare across the room at an empty shelf-drawer combination that was meant for my clothing as well as any personal affairs I had brought with me to the facility. The more I thought about it the more I realized that Adam was probably just being friendly as opposed to flirting with me the way I thought he had been. After all, why would he flirt with me? It's not like he knew how I looked or exactly what was wrong with me in the sense that he didn't know about my mental trauma.
Yet..I maybe he was flirting with me because he didn't care whether I looked nearly as attractive as he did.

That thought made a smile come to my lips and I wrapped my arms around myself, giving my body a small squeeze. I realized I was being stupid. Somehow being around Adam had reverted me to my high-school mentality, like a young girl who's just figured out her crush likes her too. That kind of buzzed happiness that didn't seem to have any kind of origin but it just felt good to be alive.
A quiet sigh passed my lips as I curled up a little bit with my arms coming to rest on the bed in front of me. I closed my eyes completely for a few moments in an attempt to get him out of my mind but it didn't do me any good.

The fatigue of the day was growing heavy on me though and soon enough I could feel my consciousness slipping away from my grasp. My mind was tired from the journey to the facility as well as the experience of attending my first group session. I knew I was going to get used to it soon enough though. I was very good at adapting to new ways of life. My time in the military had made absolutely sure of that.
So with a smile on my lips and thoughts of Adam in my head I allowed myself to drift into the calming world of slumber.

--

The sound of my phone's alarm going off woke me up the next morning. The soft buzzing and annoying little tune caused me to turn over with a long sleepy groan and blindly search for where I usually put my phone on my bedside table next to me. However when my hand hit nothing but thin air I remembered that I wasn't at home anymore. I was at that rehabilitation center.
Another quiet grunt filled the air as I pulled myself up only far enough so I could reach across from my bed to where I had set down my bag, grabbing my phone from the side pocket where I had left it.
As much as I wanted to hit the snooze button so I could keep sleeping, instead I noticed the time through half-closed eyes.

Much too quickly for my own good I practically flew out of bed while wildly searching through my duffel bag for clothes to wear for the session of the day. In the end I just tore out a white v-neck shirt to wear beneath my vest-jacket along with some fresh undergarments. In all of a few seconds I was changed and carefully pulling the plastic sheath over my thigh, securing it in place with a soft grunt at the returned discomfort of the pressure it put on my muscles. However being able to stand up a few seconds later made all those feelings fade away.
In a minute flat I was brushing my teeth and headed out the door with only a little bit to spare. Although I did not quite know where the class was, I followed what directions Adam had given us until I found room 4B.

I slipped into the room to join the others who had already set the room up in the same kind of circle it that had been formed the previous day. As I sat down I was quietly greeted by Anita, who was sat to my left, and Ken, who was sat to my right, to which I greeted them both in return.
It was a bit strange to hear them greet me but at the same time it was somewhat nice. I suppose you could say it made me feel accepted to the group.
I let my good leg straighten out while my prosthetic remained bent at the knee, placing my hands together in my lap as I anxiously waited for Adam to make his appearance.
I wanted to see him again. In all his handsome glory.

I awoke to Paul clattering around in the kitchen, my usual morning alarm. For a few moment I simply sat in the bliss of a warm bed, until I felt Gordon padding on top of me, jumping off the bed to get to his breakfast. Finally, with a groan I dragged myself up, rubbing the sleep off of my face and lazily walking across my room, past the old double doors that closed myself off from the rest of the apartment, and brought myself to the coffee maker. Thankfully, Paul had already made a pot, and I poured myself the biggest mug I could find of strong, black caffeine.
“Morning, sleeping beauty.” I could hear Paul leaning against the fridge, nearly inhaling a bowl of cereal. I managed to throw him a sleepy, half-smile as I sipped my coffee.

“I have some errands to do this morning, wanna come along?” I asked him after a few moments, the silence in the room being disturbed by his loud crunching.
“Nah.” He said past a mouthful. “Gotta work.” I heard the fabric of his shirt rustle as he shrugged, and my tired smile turned into my regular grin.

“Translation, you want to see the new babe of a secretary.” I teased him, knowing there was no other logical reason for Paul to be in the printing office so early.
“Pretty much.” I felt him throw a Cheerio at me, pegging me right in the temple. This was how the usual Paul-Adam morning proceeded. A few lame jokes, Paul asking if I needed anything from the store, and me wishing he didn’t baby me so much. He was a good friend, however, like nearly everyone else, he felt as if it was his duty to look after me.

Once Paul had left for work, I put my mug into the dish washer and walked back to my room, murmuring small coos of affection toward Gordon whenever I felt him rub up against me.
My closet was probably the most well-organized thing a twenty-whatever guy owned. It was a system, and one that seemed to work pretty well. I would do the laundry for both myself, and Paul, then fold things, and he would sort out what was mine and his, setting my clothes together so the outfits at least matched without looking too goofy. I dressed in mostly basics, neutral colours, simple cuts…I didn’t want to imagine what I would look like if I had a high-maintenance wardrobe. My clothes were set up in a fool-proof system, that nearly whatever shirt I grabbed would look alright with the pants. Well, at least I hope that’s the way it worked. It would be a shame if all these years I was wearing Spongebob Squarepants t-shirts or something. I grinned at the thought, grabbing a fresh shirt and pants, dressing quickly and grabbing my regular, leather bag.

Spoiler:

Taxi cabs were my best friends. And with all the money my parents always sent me, it didn’t even leave a dent in my funds. They were always worried for me, although they shouldn’t be. I was glad they were so supportive, but there was a thin line between smothering and support.
After hearing two honks, I knew the cab was waiting for me, humming lightly as I skipped down the steps, bag tossed over one shoulder and walking stick out.
I climbed in, telling the cabbie the address of a local market, grinning to myself as I thought of my plan. I still had around an hour before the group session, and I knew exactly how to fill that time.

The grocery store was fairly empty, but I still walked with my long, white stick in front of me, cautious to whomever might be sneaking around.
Carefully, I fished the tape recorder out of my pocket, clicked rewind, and play as I walked aimlessly through the isles, listening to the voices of all the people I had met yesterday, feeling my throat tighten slightly at the sound of Molly’s voice, a blooming smile forming on my lips. I had been to this store a few times, and thankfully I knew how it was set up, so I wouldn’t be awkwardly roaming around forever, stubborn enough not to ask for help.

Fourty-five minutes later, one of my arms was weighed down by two of those recyclable, hemp grocery bags, other hand occupied by my walking stick as I hopped into another cab.
“Fredericks Center, please. Near the apartments on Grant.” I told the cabbie, feeling my eyes beginning to twinkle out of excitement. I just wanted to get there already. I wanted to hear her voice, to listen to everything she had to tell me. Also, I had an amazing plan for today’s lesson.

I retracted my walking stick, putting it into my bag beside the tape recorder and paying the driver, nearly tumbling out of the cab and forgetting the grocery bags in the process. In each arm, I cradled a grocery bag, walking gracefully in long, confident strides down the entry path to the center.
As I leaned my shoulder against the glass door, I could hear Mrs.Aberbalm chuckle lightly. “What’cha got there, Adam?” She called to me as I passed her quickly, already racing down the halls, stumbling over my feet in the process.

“I’m late for group! Again!” I called over my shoulder in response, voice echoing and bouncing off the much too familiar halls of my second home. Before I got to room 4B, I took a breath, trying to hold both the bags in one arm, the contents almost falling out in the process. With my free hand, I fixed my thick, boyish curls to the best of my ability, feeling my cheeks warm up just slightly. Why was I trying to look nice?
You know why, dumbass. I thought to myself, putting a bag in each hand and opening the door with my hip.

“Good morning!” I called as I entered, walking a bit slower than I usually did, not knowing where people were situated, however, knowing exactly how the room was set up. Today, I had told the class to meet in a very special room. The theater. Most of the room was bare, with wooden floors, however on one side, behind a velvet curtain, was a stage. That would come in handy for what I had in mind.

I walked to the front of the room, placing the bags down and grabbing a chair, ears perking up at the small noises everyone made to greet me. They had already formed themselves into a circle, which made me smile slightly.
“Do you all remember what we spoke about yesterday?” I asked the group, standing in front of my chair and picking up one of the grocery bags. I heard murmurs of curious acknowledgement, and slowly fished around in the bag until my fingers grasped what I was looking for.

“For today’s exercise, I would like each of you to come up and get something special I have in this bag, for each of you. After that, we’ll run through some trust exercises, and then lunch! Sound good?” I was aware I sounded much too excited, but that was part of the show. For a blind guy, I still had a few tricks up my sleeve. People were getting curious now, which was exactly where I wanted them.

“Anita, please come up.” I said softly, hearing a chair squeak lightly, and footsteps approaching me. Gently, I drew my hand out of the bag, revealing a box of Bounce laundry sheets. The middle aged woman was frozen in front of me, and for a second I heard her breath catch. Slowly I held the box out and I felt her take it, a soft sniffle echoing around the room. Suddenly, she hugged me, and I felt her tears soaking into my shirt. She broke away shortly, returning to her seat.

“It’s strange being in a new place, especially a facility where you don’t know anyone. I just hope with each of these things, you all can get settled in and simply…relax.” My voice was like milk and honey around the room, a sweet smile painting my lips as I tried to be sincere. However, I was sure my eyes were giving me away, twinkling brightly with excitement as I called Brian’s name. For him, I had brought a set of two Burt’s Bees lip balms, and a jar of hand lotion. He said in group yesterday how he would always bite his lips now, and his nails, making them both dry…and these things made him feel better.

I called each name around the circle, and each reaction was completely different, yet relatively the same. Some of the women cried, a few of the men hugging me strongly or put their hand on my shoulder. Laundry sheets for Anita, lip balm for Brian, a new pair of tube socks for Ken, and the movie Titanic for Bonnie. The other patients received other mediocre, however easily-attainable drug store items until the bags were empty, and there was one name left.

“Molly.” I said, voice hardly above a whisper. Everyone could see that there was nothing left in my hands, and I knew the tension was growing.

Even though I knew I shouldn't have, I sat there continuously checking my watch. Practically watching the minutes as they ticked by and the time for the beginning of session passed. He was late. It's not that I got worried about him or anything like that, I just wanted to see him again. A purely selfish thought of course but it was the truth. I wanted to be able to look up into his shining brown eyes, admire his bright smile, and watch as his curls bobbed lightly whenever he turned his head in a different direction too suddenly.
Were my feelings rushing too much? I realized that if anyone could have heard my internal thoughts they would have deemed me as an obsessed teenager for sure.

As that thought dawned on me I crossed my arms over my chest, letting out a quiet sigh of frustration that I didn't realize could have made the others think of me as an impatient person. What made me sigh so frustratedly was the fact that I was being obsessive over something that was never going to happen. That is to say the idea of anything more than friendship coming up between Adam and I.
Why would he think that I was any different from any of the other members of the group? There were other women in the room who were the same age as him and matched his level of attractiveness much more than I did.
Not only that but they were..all there, so to speak.

The sound of the door opening made me blink out of my deep thoughts and turn my head to see who had come in so late. Much to my surprise and joy it was the tall figure of Adam looking just as handsome as he had the day before. If not more so.
I felt something in my chest well up as I watched him gracefully make his way down the pathway to join us. For some reason the room we moved to looked like a theater where smalltime performances could take place.
It seemed like a bit of a random change but I wasn't going to question it.

He greeted the class and I joined in the quiet greetings the rest of the group gave him, quietly watching as he started to talk about what we were going to be doing during today's session. The twinkle in his eye and the smile on his face made it hard for me to pay complete attention though. I managed to get the main gist of what was going on but other than that I found I was somewhat curious as to what he might have gotten me.

I tore my eyes away from Adam to watch the others as they walked up to the front of the circle to take the item he had gotten them. A couple times smiles came to my lips and at the delivery of the movie 'Titanic' I felt I couldn't stop from laughing quietly.
Everyone was more than pleased with what they received from him. Many were so surprised that tears ran down their cheeks. It was a truly touching moment for the group as a whole.

Then it was finally my turn and I glanced around the room to find that everyone was looking at me with expectant eyes. I blinked nervously before leaning forward, carefully pulling myself out of my chair so I could walk up to the front of the room as naturally as possible. It was kind of a success but walking with a prosthetic leg is nothing like walking with an actual leg so the slight limp was always there.
I'd worked hard on it in the past though and as a result my limp was very subtle but it was still present. I just hoped no-one noticed.

I came to stand in front of Adam with a bit of an uncertain expression on my face. It didn't look like there was anything left in the bag for him to give to me, which surprised me. I had been expecting him to bring me a CD of Beethoven or something of the likes. Perhaps some Bach or Chopin? Either way I would have been perfectly happy.
But there was nothing.
"What'd you get me then? A twinkie?" I asked him quietly in a voice that was both joking and affectionate. Kind of the way one would speak to someone they truly cared about. The smile on my lips easily came through in my voice.

At hearing her voice for the first time today, I felt my face glowing. I had stopped myself before I could give her a beaming smile…that wouldn’t be very professional now, would it.
“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I could run to the store and bring you one if you like, instead?” I grinned back to her playfully, leaving my things on my chair and carefully walking around her, past all the chairs and toward the stage. In one quick motion, I drew back the large velvet curtain, blinking away the dust in my eyes. This place hadn’t been used in forever, and I was pretty sure I was the only one who came around here from time to time. On the stage, past all the dust, sat a large, old, wooden baby-grand piano.

Quickly, I hopped up onto the stage, brushing my pants off and walking toward the beautiful creature. My mother had taught me how to play when I was merely a boy…however I stopped playing after the storm. It took me years to finally get back into playing, and by that time, I was fairly rusty. The facility granted me full-time access to the theater, and this piano…when I was ready. Slowly, I sat down on the wooden bench, placing my fingers on the ivory keys for a moment, feeling the familiar shape of my fingers setting into the worn bone. This piano was a wreck, probably about to fall apart at any moment. However it didn’t. Probably just for my sanity, too.

“Molly, you said that piano relaxes you?” I called across to her, and the group, hearing some of them come to gather around the stage. “If you’re ever feeling stressed, come find me. I’ll be happy to play you a piece any time you like.” I couldn’t help but smile as I quickly played a scale on the keys, the sound echoing around the room. The acoustics in this room were magnificent, however, it was usually just me in here alone playing. This was a change…to put it lightly.

I heard Bonnie’s flirtatious giggle, and raised an eyebrow slightly, taking a deep breath and rolling up the sleeves of my cardigan, wiggling my fingers for a moment before I started playing. It was one of my favourite Arcade Fire songs, and I had taught it to myself a while ago, thinking it would sound perfect in this room. With the big windows drawing in beams of natural light, showing the gardens. How I envied all of the people before me for a split second, wishing I could see what they could see at this moment.

Slowly, I set my fingers on the keys, hitting a wrong note and stopping immediately, feeling a pink blush appear along my cheeks and neck. “Whoopsies.” I murmured to myself, starting again. This time, my fingers danced along the keys as I played. I wasn’t much of a singer, so I simply stayed silent as I played, feeling my shoulders working as I let my eyelids close.

After a while, when the song ended, there was a silence hanging in the air. Echoes of the notes still bounced on the walls faintly, and I felt myself smiling kind of…sadly as I stood. A few of the patients made noises of appreciation and admiration, but I didn’t care about them. All I cared about right now was what Molly was thinking. I went, and sat on the edge of the stage, hearing the group gather around me as I let out the breath I hadn’t been aware I had been holding.
“You showed yourselves to me, it was only fair I gave you all something in return.” I smiled, stretching my arms above my head and cracking my neck. “Ten minute break?” I leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees as I heard the group slowly leave the room, knowing that a certain patient had lingered. Hopefully.


(ooc: The video for the song is kind of strange, but I didn't make it...so just roll with it, haha)

His reply to my playful little joke made me grin but when he stood up to pass me I found that I was surprised. My gaze followed him as he approached the stage right up to the moment where he sat down at the piano bench. All at once my breath was caught in my chest when he started to play a piece and I realized that he was playing it for me. Not for anyone else in the room. Just me.
Never in a million years would I have expected him to do something like this..not for me anyway. Perhaps for some beautiful girl he met in the future but not me. Not a broken person like me.

I couldn't move from where I was stood despite all of the other members of the group coming to stand near the edge of the stage so they could hear the playing better. My whole body was seized in a moment of emotional lock-down.
My heart swelled in my chest while my stomach did flips and my eyes welled up with unspilled tears. I did not allow them to fall though. There was no way I could show such weakness in front of the rest of the group. Not now.

When his playing came to an end, despite the moment where he pressed a wrong key, I let out the breath I had not known I was keeping held in. Before my mind could even begin to process what had just happened he excused the rest of the class for a ten minute recess, just as the day before, and soon enough we were the only two people left in the room.
Finally my body decided to move of its own accord and I carefully made my way over to where he was still sat. There was just enough space on the bench for me to join him and I did so, careful to bend my prosthetic to a comfortable sitting position before I dared to speak at all.

"You know, I've never had anyone play the piano for me before." I said quietly as I leaned back against the piano just lightly as if it were a piece of stainless glass that could break at any moment. Now that I had heard the beauty that could come from such an instrument when it was played before my very eyes it became a relic of sorts. The very object that had kept me sane for so long now. The only sound that could bring me out of my sad silence whenever I started to take pity on myself for what happened to me. Those moments when I hated the world for having caused me such pain while it still continued turning..everyone around me able to walk without an ache or a limp.

Slowly I turned to face him on the small piano bench and leaned down so that I was gently leaned against him, my head coming to rest on his shoulder while my arms wrapped around his torso lightly. I held that position for a few seconds before I squeezed him in what I could best describe as a sad embrace. One filled with emotions of both sadness as well as happiness.
"Thank you." I whispered quietly for I knew he would be able to hear me.
As much as I wanted to remain there, hugging his slim figure, I drew away and leaned back.
A long sigh passed my lips accompanied by the sound of my swallowing back tears.

"I think I'll take you up on that offer sometime." I said in soft voice with a warm smile on my lips.

ooc: Beautiful song, thank you for showing it to me.

I could hear her abnormal steps advancing toward me and bit the inside of my cheeks, wondering what to do now. It’s okay, just play it cool…I thought to myself as she sat beside me. Despite my best efforts, for a few moments I was frozen, completely stiff. However when she placed her arms around me I melted…there was no other word for it. My blood felt warmer, my eyes shone brighter, and the grin that was starting to reveal my teeth widened.
“Well, I like to make people feel special.” I murmured down to her as she hugged me, “Especially someone who is already……” I quickly trailed off, biting down hard on the inside of my cheeks again and tasting blood this time as I coughed casually, pretending to clear my throat.

She sounded…different, for a moment. That struggling sound in her voice, the way she pulled away. It was different.
“Hey.” I said suddenly, reaching out for her clumsily, hand resting on her wrist. I turned my face toward her now, eyes searching through their eternal blackness to find her. Although I never would. I don’t know why I did that, I didn’t care when Anita was crying into my shirt. But for some reason, this wasn’t the same. Hearing her all choked up, it made my throat dry and my palms sweaty.

“You’re welcome.” I turned away, removing my hand from her wrist and standing in a tall, fluid motion. I was letting myself become too entranced by this girl. She was like a drug to me, and I just felt as if I needed more. She could be talking to me about how she’s been married for three years and I still wouldn’t care. I would still just want to be around her.
Slowly, I took my pack out of my pocket and walked from the stage back to my chair in the circle, lighting up a cigarette right there. I didn’t care much for these rules, and no one ever really came into this room anyway. The group was still on break, and the only other person here was Molly.

“Well, until I play for you again…” I called to her, knowing she was still sitting on that old piano bench. “Care for a smoke?” I raised an eyebrow at her, trying to be charming as I held the cigarette between my lips. I knew I had a thing for her. Hell, she probably knew I had a thing for her. Christ! The whole facility probably knew!
I let my face drop to the ground, leaning back in the chair as I smoked, trying not to let so much emotion run through me.

“Did you settle down okay?” I asked a less…personal question, tilting my head to the side faintly and letting my voice dance across the theater. Part of me wondered what would have happened yesterday when she invited me in. My heart started beating as a million unanswered questions flew through my mind.
Did that mean…
No.
No, it didn’t mean…
But it could mean…?
No, she’s not that kind of girl.
Well, you hardly know her.
Plus, you’re blind. That’s not sexy.
Is she sexy?
She sounds beautiful.
She acts beautiful.

I frowned at myself, rubbing my face as I tried to shut my thoughts up, taking a slow drag of my cigarette and instead, thinking of all the letters in the Greek alphabet. That usually worked as a good distraction whenever I was too stressed. I also raised an eyebrow in Molly’s direction, waiting for her response.

His response to my hug was somewhat restrained to say the very least. Perhaps restrained isn't the right word to use. At first his whole body seemed to freeze up the moment I leaned against him but once he realized what I was doing he relaxed. I would have hoped that he actually enjoyed the embrace but that was not something I could be sure of.
His words made me smile softly even though he didn't finish his thought. I knew more or less what he was getting at and I found his comforting words to be sweet. They made the tears welling in my eyes fade away to be replaced with the smile on my lips.

However when he heard my voice and noticed that I was on the verge of tears he did something that surprised me as much as made my heart skip a beat. He took my wrist with his hand and turned towards me, looking into my eyes. At least he looked as closely to my eyes as his sightless gaze could get without knowing exactly where my face was in relation to his. Regardless I was able to see the brightness of his eyes. A few seconds passed as I felt myself slowly become lost in the deep brown color I was staring into.
"Oh.." I murmured when he turned away and stood up.

My eyes followed him as he made his way off the stage heading back towards his seat at the head of the circle. At first I was a little bit surprised when he offered me a smoke because we were inside but then I realized he probably didn't care about the rules. After all it didn't look like this room had been used in absolute ages. What was the harm in having just one smoke?
I certainly didn't see a problem with it although I could not take him up on the offer.
"I try to keep myself to one a day.. Right now I'm about as relaxed as can be." I replied as I pulled myself off the piano bench with a grunt.

I made my way back to my seat as he asked me whether I had settled into my room okay. Before answering I let myself come down with a soft 'plunk' and a sigh. I thought about my answer as I quickly adjusted my prosthetic and then I nodded my head, though I nearly smacked myself a second later for forgetting he couldn't see me.
"I was much too tired to unpack or anything like that. I pretty much fell asleep half an hour after you left. Surprisingly I was able to sleep all night without any nightmares. That doesn't happen often." I answered without really thinking and once I had, I looked across at him with uncertainty.
I wasn't sure whether that detail was something he wanted to hear.

I sighed quietly and slumped over in my seat just a little bit, crossing my arms over my chest in a slight amount of frustration. I wasn't doing anything more than making myself seem much worse than I really was. At least, much worse than I wanted him to believe I was.
How could he ever grow to like a girl who was nearly as messed up as I was? Not even taking into account the fact that I was missing a leg. I didn't even want to think about how slim the chances were of him wanting to be with an amputee like myself.
"But yeah.. okay sounds about right." I murmured quietly.

When I could feel the warmth of the ember nearing my fingers, I quickly stood, walking over to where I knew a garbage can sat, putting the smoke out on the rim, and tossing it in.
“Well, not all of us can keep to one a day.” I said as I was walking back to her, winking in the direction of her voice. As she spoke of nightmares, I felt my brow knit together slightly. Poor girl, I kept forgetting she was one of the trauma patients. I wanted so badly to…I don’t know…be friends with her or something. However, that might be difficult.
I wasn’t one of the regular staff at the center, and suddenly I was very glad that they appointed me this group. But…what about a month from now when their new session leader came in?
Hmm, I would have to do something about that.

“That’s good! And I’ll let you in on a little secret,” I leaned forward slightly, as if I were about to reveal launch codes to her. “You can swipe extra living supplies from the rooms that aren’t being used.” I felt myself begin to grin boyishly, as I leaned back, lifting up my arms and clasping them together behind my head, stretching one of my legs out casually. “I swear, I was the worst patient here when I was a kid. I had about fifty extra pillows in my room that I would make into a fort and hide from all my treatment sessions.” I rolled my eyes at myself, shaking my head slightly at how much of a hooligan I was when I was younger. A faint blush appeared on my cheeks as I realized how silly that sounded, and I sighed, annoyed at how I could ramble on about nothing to this girl, probably forever.

A noise sounded, and I could hear footsteps beginning to advance towards us. “Is something burning in here?” I heard Ken’s voice ask, and I flashed a brilliant smile in his direction.
“I think Molly is on fire, guys. She’s pretty hot.” I felt the corner of my lip twitch up slightly, knowing that I had no idea what she looked like, but I kind of liked poking fun at myself. Plus it was incredibly corny, which got the group laughing as they all returned to their seats.
Well, everyone laughing except Bonnie. I wonder what her deal was, perhaps she was on her period or something, whatever made girls crazy or overly emotional. My face lost all of its colour and my smile dropped when I remembered she was pregnant with her abusive ex-boyfriend’s child. My stomach felt sick, and I shook my head as if to clear it. I had to be a little more sensitive with these people, right? I mean, smiles and jokes were one thing, but I was really trying. Connecting with Molly was easy. Connecting with the other patients was turning out to be kind of tricky.

“Erm, alright.” I clasped my hands together, getting my tape recorder out of my bag and holding it, pressing the On button. “Could everyone please stand up?” I stood, hearing everyone else move their chairs back and stand with me. “Good, now, I would like each of you to put both of your hands in the middle of the circle.” I heard them hesitate, and a gentle smile appeared on my face. “Don’t worry, it’s a trust exercise. We’re going to be sharing a lot in these sessions, the least we could do is get comfortable with each other.” And with that, I could hear the rustle of clothing as they did what I asked.

I stepped toward the middle, putting my hands in as well. “Now, everyone, take two hands.” I told them, and I felt two hands close around mine, everyone’s arms forming into a knot in the middle. “Close your eyes.” I said in a soft voice, although I didn’t need to close mine. I assumed everyone had done what I had asked. I was aware that this probably seemed extremely weird, but when I was in therapy, we did things like this. Little exercises every few days to make sure the group stayed connected, and everyone was both physically and emotionally comfortable with each other.

“I want you to feel each hand that you’re holding. All the bumps, wrinkles, scars…” As I told the group to do this, I could feel them each, slowly and tentatively doing so. One hand I was holding was rough, and worn, cracked and hard. The other was soft, delicate but strong. I wondered who’s hands I was holding, but supposed I would never know. “Our hands go through a lot in one day. Tugging, pulling, pinching…caressing. Hugging, writing, and so on. Our hands face small, day-to-day things that they can do successfully.” I spoke as the group did the exercise, and slowly I knew they were starting to understand. “Even the most difficult things can be done. Even the roughest tasks can be conquered.” I said, voice getting stronger as it bounced off the walls.
When suddenly, it got sweet, and soft. “Things happen to us, and sometimes we don’t know why. But like our hands, we will eventually succeed, we will eventually get through it.” I nodded to myself at my speech, feeling a small grin beginning to form as I broke away, stepping back to my chair to turn off my tape recorded. Only silence hung in the air, before I said one word.

“Dismissed.”

His comment about some people not being able to keep to one cigarette per day made me nod my head in agreement however this time I did so knowing he wouldn't be able to tell. I suppose it was a way of letting myself come to the realization that I was one such person only three months ago. From the moment I joined the military I began to smoke to cope with the stress of constantly being alert. People never really thought about it but being in a war was a lot harder than it seemed. Many nights you couldn't even sleep because of the constant fear of being attacked. It took a toll on me just like it did everyone else in my squad, which is what probably caused us to miss the small pile of rocks off to the side of the road that..

I cut off my thoughts there and ran a hand through my hair, letting my fingers grip at the back of my neck when they reached it. Those were not memories I wanted to revisit. Not right now anyway. So instead I turned all of my focus towards Adam who was sitting next to me again with a smile on his face.
He spoke and I leaned in to listen to the secret he had to give me.
When he finally told me I couldn't help but let out a little giggle that turned into a soft laugh when he mentioned the fact that when he was younger he would make forts out of pillows to hide from his sessions. It was a silly thought.
The blush that crossed his cheeks made me grin happily. He looked adorable when he blushed.

The sound of the others coming back into the room disrupted our little moment together though. I straightened myself up and acted as if we had just been casually chatting rather than the..whatever it was we were doing before they came in. I wanted to say it was something more than just talking. Bonding perhaps? Maybe that was too much.
Adam's comment pulled me out of my absentminded thoughts and I felt my cheeks flush to a bright pink color. I knew he meant the comment to be a joke of sorts in response to Ken's question but his words caused a few of the male members of the group to look me over with eyes I didn't quite find comfortable.

I didn't have very much time to recover though before he started the next activity he wanted us to do together. I stood with the rest of the group and carried out his instructions though I did whatever I could to reach in his direction when he asked us to take hands. My left hand found its way into Bonnie's while my right actually found Adams in the knot that quickly took form in the center of the circle.
My cheeks immediately glowed a soft pink color as I held his hand gently, trying not to give away whose hand it was he had grabbed onto.
I don't know why I didn't want him knowing..maybe because I felt like I was never going to know what it really felt like to hold his hand with him being fully aware.

When I turned my head back towards the center of the group, right before we were instructed to close our eyes, I noticed that Bonnie was looking at me with an expression of..envy? I didn't have much time to watch her expression before my eyes closed and I was taken away by his voice beside me.
I was brought into what felt like a trance as he spoke softer and softer, making the point of the activity clear to the group.
A smile came to my lips when he finished his last sentence and then after a short silence dismissed the second session of our stay at the facility.

Reluctantly I let my hand fall from his and felt Bonnie drop mine somewhat aggressively. I looked up only to see her walking away in a bit of a huff. A frown came to my face as I watched her for a few seconds before I shook my head in confusion. Sometimes I just didn't understand people.
As everyone else filed out of the room I stood there somewhat awkwardly waiting for everyone to leave. Until finally it was just Adam and I left together in the large room. I squeezed my hands into fists, a habit of mine, and approached him slowly so he'd know I was still there.
"You don't even know how I look." I said in a tone that was teasing.

I had turned to my bag, slowly raising it to my shoulder as I brushed off the front of my shirt. What a strange feeling…at that moment, all I could feel was strength and pride in myself. I could help these poor people, well, maybe. It was still too soon to tell, but I was starting to feel sure of it. I was so distracted by my thoughts that I didn’t hear someone moving behind me.
A voice made me blink, slightly surprised. However I knew who it was immediately, turning in the direction of her voice with a charming grin tugging at the corners of my lips. “You know, you’re getting kind of good at sneaking up on me.” I ran a hand through my hair before crossing my arms over my chest, tilting my head to the side slightly, one eyebrow raised.

“No, I don’t know what you look like.” I responded to her playful comment, my voice getting kind of a sad edge to it. I coughed lightly, rubbing the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand and trying to dismiss that sadness. I found myself stepping toward her, until I knew I was very close. I wanted so badly to know, to feel her soft cheeks. Were they soft? Maybe she had long eyelashes…
I balled my hands into fists, clenching my jaw to control myself. ‘But I would like to.’ I thought, knowing there was no way in hell I could possibly say that to her without seeming like a total creep.

“Hey, let’s get out of here.” I grinned down at her, remembering her height from when I had put my arm around her yesterday. “The dining hall has good food, but I know somewhere a little better.” I felt my eyes begin to twinkle as I thought of how daring this was. I wasn’t asking her out, was I? Just lunch. Just some food, harmless, right?
And so what if I kind of liked her. It was too soon to tell if she was some kind of crazy girl, or a psycho bitch, or one of those clingy, whiney chicks. She seemed cool, so it was a done deal for me.

I could feel my smile turning from charming to cheeky in minutes, eyes twinkling mischievously like a little boy as I gently linked my arm around hers and started walking to the door. Sometimes, Paul told me I was too nice. He told me that people would take advantage of me, or I would give girls the wrong idea. My mouth felt sour as I thought about Bonnie for a split second, before my thoughts quickly drifted back to Molly. She hardly knew anyone here, it was the least I could do to simply ask her to lunch. As we walked down the halls, I feared she would break away from me and say no. My heart began to beat loudly in my chest, so loud I thought she could definitely hear it beside me as I waited for her to say something.

As strange as it might be to think about it, the moment that all of our hands were together and Adam addressed us all with that strong emotion.. He looked more handsome and attractive than ever before. Of course I snuck a glance or two at him when we were supposed to have our eyes closed but then again he did too! Technically.. of course he couldn't actually see with his eyes open so why would he close them at all? Still, that was my rationale and the only way to convince myself I wasn't a bad person for not following his directions.
But in that moment I saw on his face this kind of strength. I'm not even sure if strength is the right word. It looked as if he truly felt he could take everyone in the group under his wing, care for them, and leave them feeling ten times better than the way they did when they walked through the door. It was a look of strong confidence not only in himself but also in all of us.

I grinned absently at his comment about my getting better at sneaking up on him and then giggled at his admission that he didn't know what I looked like. Of course he didn't. There was pretty much no way for him to know nor would there ever be a way of him knowing..would there? I didn't know all that much about blind people or the way they lived. I had never befriended a person who had lost their sight.
Adam was actually the first blind person I'd ever gone out of my way to spend time with. More because the military didn't often recruit them than any other reason, of course.
"Maybe one day, huh? Though I'm not sure how that'd work." I commented quietly as he stood up from his seat.

He approached me until we were barely a foot away from one another. I looked up into his unseeing eyes deeply while biting my bottom lip unconsciously. He looked so much better up close than from far away. In the sense that from far you got the sense that no-one could be as handsome as he was but the moment you got up close you realized he was so much better than from a distance.
This thought alone made my cheeks burn lightly. I was so distracted in my admiration of his features that I almost missed his words.
"W-What? I mean, sure!" I stuttered a little bit at first but then summoned up the courage to agree to..whatever it was he was offering. I doubted it was anything more than just a friendly gesture though.

When he linked his arm through mine I gently squeezed his arm to my side with my arm, wishing I could walk close to him without him thinking I was some kind of weirdo. The more I thought about the way I was behaving around Adam the more I realized I was probably making myself out to be a pretty clingy girl. That thought horrified me. Who wanted to associate themselves with a girl like that?
Yet I couldn't help myself.
As we walked through the hallways together in the direction of the main lobby where I assumed we would be heading, I smiled quietly to myself at the mere fact that we were going out to lunch together.

"I hope this place isn't too far. I'd hate for you to deal with my walking pace for too long. " I said in a half-joking tone as we reached the lobby together. As much as I wanted to say that I was joking, I actually did worry about it being an issue.
Because of my prosthetic it never was easy to walk long distances. The longer the distance I had to walk, the slower I got over time until I was forced to sit down for a little while in order to rest my thigh. Lest I be left with incredibly sore muscles in the morning which often kept me from being able to put my leg on at all.
"Other than that though, I'm excited!" I added with a grin.

I smiled at nothing in particular, just smiled as we walked down the steps of the building, toward the beautiful paths. Well, they seemed beautiful. Always smelling like lavender trees and freshly cut grass. They really tried to make the facility more of a place of welcome, but my memory faded back to that little bed in my room here…yes, I had a room here…and I couldn’t help it when my smile faltered a little.

“I don’t mind walking slow…” I said softly, remembering when she had referred to herself as a ‘cripple’. However, the reason I didn’t mind walking at her pace wasn’t because I felt bad for her…it was a more selfish reason, one that I immediately felt slightly guilty for. I simply enjoyed the feeling of her so close to me, and I knew that was wrong. “But don’t you worry your pretty little head, Molly! It’s actually very close.” I loved the way her name felt on my lips. I wanted to say it again. I wanted to scream it, to sing it, to…to…
My brilliant smile turned into simply a small smirk after I caught myself. Caught myself getting a little too involved in my feelings toward this girl. My eyes still twinkled mischievously, for reasons I knew were wrong, but I couldn’t help it. She made me feel different. She made me feel…

She made me feel like I didn’t need to see to feel alive.
Which was something I’d never felt. When I was around her, I didn’t feel that horrible self-hatred and loathing. When I was around her, I was happy. I was funny. I was smart.
You’re in trouble, Adam…I thought to myself as I felt her arm tighten around mine slightly, along with the feeling of my legs almost turning to jelly because of that. Ah, yes I was in trouble. On one hand, I could be around her, but probably ruin her chances of getting over the trauma she’d been through. On the other hand, I could stay at a safe distance…and she would move on with her life.

A small sigh passed my lips as we hit the sidewalk, and I took out my walking stick. Once we were off the facility grounds, it was probably a better idea to know where I was going…
But I knew what the right thing to do was.

My voice lost its flirty, charming tone as I spoke to her now, keeping it kind and friendly. “I hope you like breakfast, cause that’s all they serve here.” We were about a block away now, from the little café I liked to go to every so often.
The excitement in her voice made me grin as I lightly bumped her with my hip. Light enough to be playful, and not to falter her step. I was much too aware of the unique quality to her walk, and I wasn’t about to disturb her pace by being ignorant.

The small bells of the door chimed as we entered, and a familiar voice greeted us. “Good afternoon! Just the two of you?” The hostess asked, and I knew she remembered me. Probably not many blind people come to this place regularly.
“Yes, please. A seat near the window would be lovely.” I asked, for Molly. It was a warm day, which was rare in Portland. I wanted her to see it for the both of us…

I grinned as he said that he didn't mind going slowly. I was glad he didn't mind. Many a time I had been walking with someone and they commented on how slow I was, not realizing just how much it hurt my feelings to be reminded. It was nice knowing that he wasn't going to be that insensitive towards my 'problem' as it were.

"Good 'cause I'm not going any faster." I replied in a playfully stubborn tone before I laughed softly. The laugh surprised me actually. It wasn't very often that I found it inside myself to laugh at my disability or rather the shortcomings that came with only having one good leg.
"I can't wait." I noted quietly as we walked down along the pathway of flowers towards the front of the grounds where the facility met the rest of the city that surrounded the rather large property. I was both surprised and relieved to see that the only security consisted of a single officer who hardly bothered to dress in a uniform. Surprised because I imagined some pretty traumatized people ended up at this place but relieved because only one guard meant not much had happened that would necessitate more than one guard being present.
It was a question of safety.

When we reached the street Adam pulled out his walking stick and I was glad he did. After all he was the one who knew where this place was. I could be his eyes only so much as stopping him from bumping into someone or stumbling off the edge of the curb or something like that. If we took a sudden turn I wasn't going to be very ready to stop him in case anything happened to be in his way.
It also meant I could take the time to glance around at the city a little bit better than the first time I came through in the taxi the day before.
It was a nice calm part of the city where nothing really stood out but nothing was particularly boring either.

I felt his bump against my hip before I heard his voice and I stumbled just a little bit. Not enough to be noticeable but enough for me to give him a playful little bump right back as a smile spread across my lips. Why was I enjoying myself so much? The last time I had this much fun was months ago and even then I doubt I was anywhere near this happy.
"Breakfast sounds lovely." I replied as we approached a restaurant I guessed was the one he'd picked out. The sign on the window that read 'We serve breakfast all day!" was a pretty big give away.

I let Adam do the talking as we entered the establishment and smiled shyly when the waitress gave me a knowing little wink. As much as I wanted to tell her that we weren't on a date.. I felt my chest swell at the thought that it looked like we were going on a date. Of course that was just my wishful thinking but a girl can dream can't she?
I followed the waitress to our window-side table before I reluctantly let go of Adam's arm, moving to sit myself down in the booth. As soon as I hit the cushion I let out a deep sigh of relief.
"You're going to have to tell me what's good here." I spoke while adjusting the joint of my prosthetic so I could turn to face the table.

I sat across from her in the booth, setting my bag down beside me and retracting my walking stick, shoving it within the leather folds before focusing my attention on the girl in front of me.
“Hmm, well. I’m in the mood for pancakes, but the omelets here are to die for. Same with the shakes.” I grinned, folding my arms on the table and leaning forward slightly, forming a kind of bubble around us. The faint sounds of dishes rattling in the café kitchen made my ears perk up slightly, but I tried to focus on the way Molly was breathing. The small rustles of her clothes as she moved. I already knew she was a…fit…girl. A small blush appeared on my cheeks and I rubbed the corner of my mouth to dismiss that thought. When she had hugged me earlier, I..I had to admit, she probably worked out.
Ugh, this was getting difficult. But I kept trying. I wasn’t supposed to think of Molly as beautiful, or sexy or whatever. I was just supposed to be friendly.

Thankfully, a waitress came along shortly. “Can I start you two off with drinks?” Her voice was a little too sugary for simply taking our orders, and I knew she was looking directly at me. She must be one of the newer staff, but slowly, as she saw my blank gaze, how my eyes didn’t quite focus properly, she caught on. I heard her clear her throat awkwardly, clicking a pen as she turned to not only address me, but also Molly.

“I’ll have a black coffee.” I said flatly, my voice not holding nearly as much emotion as it did whenever I spoke to Molly. It sucked, whenever a girl tried to flirt with me…they quickly realized I was blind, and either quit all together, or became misleading and sneaky. Because I suppose they think it’s easy to fool a blind dude, but I wasn’t that stupid. A small, soft smile appeared on my lips as I gazed across the table in Molly’s direction. I liked the way she spoke to me, though. It wasn’t like the other girls.

The walk from the rehabilitation facility didn't exactly tire me out but it brought to my attention the fact that this morning, while rushing to get to class, I had not put my prosthetic on as comfortably as I could have. Usually I didn't oversleep the way I had so I really only got about a fourth of the time I would have wanted to get ready in. Which meant a whole lot of cutting corners and as a result, I was left with my thigh not feeling very comfortable at all. It wasn't something I felt I needed to worry either Adam or myself about but it was something that made me vow to make my alarm ring earlier.

"Omelets huh? I haven't had one of those in ages! I think I'll try one." I replied to his words with a smile as I leaned my elbows against the table with my arms crossed in front of me, looking across the table at the handsome man sat on the opposite side. I couldn't help but sneak glances over his graceful posture and alluring appearance. Everything about him was perfect with the exception of his sight yet the fact that he was blind made him even more so in my eyes.
I could only imagine the kind of person he would be if he had his sight and he could see just how attractive he was. He certainly wouldn't spend his time even looking at someone like me.

When the waitress came to the table she immediately turned her focus towards Adam with her bright smile and eyes that freely roamed just as much as mine had only moments before. I felt my jaw tighten a little bit at the thought. Not so much because I cared that she was checking him out, that I couldn't blame her for honestly, but rather that she only turned her attention to me when she realized that he couldn't see her.
I wanted to stand up, slap her across the face, and tell her that there was so much more to Adam than the fact that he was blind. It was not her place to dismiss him so suddenly. A line of thoughts that, much to my surprise, were quite selfless despite the fact that I knew I had developed a crush on the very man my mind was now defending.

"I'll have a glass of orange juice." I ordered after a short pause and gave the waitress a polite smile as she made note of our drinks before walking off. My eyes followed her until she walked behind the counter. As I turned my head back towards my companion I noticed a little girl at another table was staring at me.
I turned my focus back towards Adam but even as I looked across the table at him I could still feel her gaze on me in the back of my mind.
"You must get hit on a lot, huh?" I suddenly said without thinking.

As the woman left, I hear the slight rustle of Molly’s clothes, wondering what she was doing. I bit my lip as I slightly worried, wondering if some gorgeous hunk had just walked into the café and she was checking him out. I don’t know why I cared…
Yeah, you know why you care.
I sighed lightly, knowing that I shouldn’t care. Molly could look at anyone she wanted, it didn’t really matter to me. It shouldn’t matter. It’s not like she even liked me in that kind of way, girls were weird like that. They were so coy, and you could hardly ever tell what they were thinking.

At her next words, I felt myself smirk at what I had just though. I guess I would be able to know what Molly was thinking if she kept being so straight forward like this.
“Not by the girls who matter.” I said playfully, biting the insides of my cheeks quickly as I realized how forward that sounded. I wanted to kick myself. Quickly, I saved what little pride I had in myself. “Girls like what they see. Not what’s underneath. In my case, I don’t have that advantage. I have the joy of seeing exactly what people are like by their attitude.” I shrugged one shoulder, turning my face toward the warm sunlight that was streaming through the window, liking the way it felt along my cheek.

As she brought up that point, I felt my cheeks get very hot. Was she implying that she liked the way I looked? Or was she just freaked out by the waitress…
Personally, I hadn’t looked at myself in the mirror since I was nine years old. And since then, I have probably changed drastically. At least I hoped so. I was kind of a small, scrawny kid growing up. Always a little too thin, and with my good grades, I was a bit of a dork. That also changed when I lost my sight, turning from nerd to rebellious teen in a few years. And I grew a good couple feet, filling out and finding a good hairstyle that wasn’t too hard to manage.

I never really understood everyone’s obsession on appearance. I suppose that’s because I lost my sight at a young enough age that it didn’t affect me at that time.
The waitress came back with my coffee and Molly’s juice, this time, without the flirty twang to her voice. Instead, it was replaced with something slightly discouraged. “What can I get for you two?” She asked.

“Blueberry pancakes for me.” I said with a polite smile, stirring my coffee with my finger as I heard her scribble it down. Molly ordered, and the woman walked away without another word. Thankfully. I licked the finger I had been stirring my coffee with, before raising the mug to my lips.
“So, how are you finding the facility? Made any friends?” I grinned at her, raising my eyebrow mischievously.

His answer to my question was much better than I could have expected. For some reason I expected him to acknowledge the fact that he was as handsome as many of the models girls drooled over in magazines. However he didn't seem to know just how attractive he was, just as I suspected. For someone who looked the way he did, he lacked the self-confidence and arrogance that I had come across many times before. Yes he was a little bit forward with his flirting but it was a soft innocent kind of flirting compared to the more common 'Hey babe, look at my muscles, want to come back to my place?' type of flirting.
"They sure do, I can assure you of that." I noted quietly with a grin in response to his words about girls liking what they saw. It was the truth. I did, the waitress did, Bonnie did, and I was sure most girls he came across very much liked what they saw.

When the waitress came back she had lost the flirtatious tone and instead just seemed to want to get our orders down so she could move on with her day. Again I felt like she was selling Adam short. If she'd taken the time to see beyond the fact that he was blind she'd see a beautiful person on the inside. At least that's what I'd seen.
"I'll have the Colorado omelet." I ordered my meal and she left without another word. My attention was brought back to the man across from me when he asked me a question.

"Other than you? Not really actually. It's just my second day here though so I can't really expect friends to just fall from the sky, you know?" I said this with a small smile as I brought my cup of juice to my lips and took a slow sip, enjoying the sweet flavor of the freshly squeezed orange juice as it flowed over my tongue.
Suddenly I felt a tug on my jacket sleeve around the bicep area and I almost choked on my drink in surprise. I managed to keep myself from doing that though and instead set my glass down with a little cough, turning my head in the direction of the tug only to find the small girl from earlier.

She was looking up at me with huge innocent eyes filled with childish curiosity. I met her gaze and gave her a bit of a goofy smile that made her smile. The smile quickly faded as she pointed towards my leg with an expression of confusion.
"Miss, what happened to your leg?" She asked with the bluntness only a child could muster without feeling bad about the possible reactions to such a question. I blinked as I mulled over many of the answers I could give her.
After a moment though a mischievous smile came to my lips.

I swung my body sideways so both my legs were stuck out the end of the booth and I pulled up the pants leg with my hand so that more of my prosthetic came into view. The girl's eyes widened in surprise as well as an added amount of interest in this strange woman who was sat before her.
"You want to know what happened to my leg?" I asked the girl to which she replied with a nod of her head.
"I didn't eat my vegetables when I was your age." I replied without skipping a beat. The look that spread over her face was priceless.

Without another word the girl ran back to her table, where her mom was watching the exchange uncertainly, and immediately began to say things along the lines of;
"Mommy! Mommy! I need more peas! Order me some peas!"
The woman looked at me with an expression that was as much confused as it was pleasantly surprised that her daughter suddenly wanted to eat the vegetables she had probably turned down many times before.
I turned back towards Adam and let out a quiet sigh. It was a sad sigh.
"I don't suppose you've had to deal with that, have you?" I asked him quietly.

I felt my eyes twinkling as she labeled me as one of her friends. It was surprising, but welcoming. My small smile turned into a crooked grin as she spoke, a notable smile tainting her voice with life. I liked the way her voice sounded when she smiled, as it took on that kind of…amused tone to it.
Small, pattering, quick footsteps made my ears perk up, and I blinked, holding my coffee in both hands as I froze, listening intently.

A high, very adorable voice sounded, asking Molly about something so personal, I hadn’t even dared touch the subject. And I was her shrink!
The girl’s voice wasn’t nasty, or wicked, or anything like that. It was innocently curious, in the way that only someone so young, and new to the cruelties in the world could ask. I felt my eyes widen in that heartbeat it took Molly to answer the question, feeling nervous and wondering if I had screwed up big time by taking her to this place.

However, with one witty sentence, she saved it. Molly…oh gosh, how could I have expected anything else from such an amazing girl.
Quickly, I felt the lopsided grin return to my lips as my eyes shone in her direction. That was it. I give up. There was seriously no point in avoiding the inevitable. I liked her. Well, I already knew that I liked her. What she said to the small girl just made me like her that much more. I wanted to go sit on her side of the booth and wrap my arms around her forever and tell her how smart and cute that was. But I couldn’t. I was Adam, her group therapy advisor, and she was Molly, a trauma patient.

The girl scampered away after a moment, and I heard her firing out orders to her mother. The brilliant, golden smile never leaving my face as I gazed in Molly’s direction. I couldn’t help it. And now, I really didn’t see a reason to ignore the feelings.
However, she sighed. And I could hear it. The sadness, the loss of self-worth. Everything I knew all too well. Slowly, I made my fingers walk across the table until they found her soft knuckles, tightened around her juice. They seemed oddly familiar, but I just couldn’t place it.
My smile still lingered, eyes still glowing faintly. “That was adorable.” I said softly to her, momentarily ignoring her question. I just…I don’t know, I wanted her to know how brilliant she was. I suppose I shouldn’t have been so blunt, but really, it was simply an innocent thought that managed to sneak past my lips.

“And no, I can’t say I have.” I murmured, “But dogs have a very…annoying fascination with my walking stick.” I smirked, trying to lighten her mood as I touched her fingertips lightly with mine, before drawing my hands back to my coffee.

The interaction between the little girl and I seemed to bring something out in Adam. When I turned back to look at him I noticed that his face had a different expression on it from the last time I had seen it before the girl came up to me. The smile on his lips could have made the heart of any girl in the world melt into a puddle of mush.
His answer to my question made a smile a kind of envious smile. I was happy to know he didn't know what it felt like to be the focus of attention because of a physical disability that was as apparent as the loss of a person's extremity.

"You're lucky then.. I sort of got used to people asking me what happened a few weeks after I got out of the hospital but I'll never get used to used to the staring. Or the snickering, or the pointing, or the mimicking." I said quietly in a voice that was distantly sad but also held a tone of what could best be described as thoughtful reflection. I had never really taken the time to think about how it felt to have all these things happen around me. But more specifically I had never considered what it must be like not being able to see the other people around you when they silently stared or whispered or laughed. Was it a blessing or was it a curse?

What suddenly brought me out of my little trance was a strange sensation against my hand that was still gripping my orange juice cup. When I blinked myself back to reality and glanced up at my hand, I was surprised to find that Adam had sought out my hand with his own. Although the touch was light and friendly I found that it comforted me more than anything in the world.
Perhaps it was just my feelings that made the simple gesture mean so much and he really only meant the touch to be friendly but.. I felt like there was more behind the action than just him trying to be my friend. Of course that was just wishful thinking on my part.
There was no way he'd want to involve himself with broken goods like myself.

"Dogs huh?" I repeated with a smile as I watched him quietly, wishing he could keep his hand on mine forever. However all good things come to an end. Just as I noticed the waitress coming our way out of the corner of my eye I felt the warmth of his touch slip away leaving my skin tingling lightly.
I had to fight to keep a disappointed sigh from passing my lips as I straightened up and made some room on the table in front of me for my food as the waitress set our plates down.

The waitress moved on without saying a word, heading towards the table where the girl and her mother were sat. The little girl glanced in my direction briefly before she ordered a small plate of peas, broccoli, and carrots.
A smile came to my lips as I looked away from the pair and turned my gaze towards the man opposite me who I now watched with both admiration and curiosity. I had the feeling watching him eat was going to be like watching a finely tuned dance.

"I'm more of a...cat person." I grinned at her past the rim of my coffee before taking a sip, setting it down as I heard footsteps approaching, knowing it was the waitress by the way her heels clicked along the floors.
She set the two plates in front of us, and I smiled politely as I attempted to look up at her, knowing I was off slightly. I heard her stutter, before speaking. "Erm, is there anything else I could get you two?" She asked, and with a small, shake of my head she was gone again, and I was left alone with Molly, the strangely brilliant girl sitting across from me.

Slowly, I raised my fork, almost fumbling my knife but finding my fingers around it before it could make a noise against the table. I grinned mischievously in Molly's direction, hand finding the syrup as I gently found the handle, pouring it on my pancakes for a moment before setting it back down. I had a horrible sweet tooth, one that my mother used to scold me for, however she never scolded me for anything these days. I guess it was kind of a good thing, in a strange sort of way.

Carefully, I began cutting my pancakes, feeling whenever my knife would hit the plate and proceeding gracefully, without caution. It had taken me forever to learn how to not look like an idiot while eating, although I did occasionally put sugar on things instead of salt. Thankfully, this wasn't one of those times.

Although, I knew I must look a bit strange to her. Usually, people looked down at their plates while they ate. I simply looked wherever my eyes wanted to wander, usually facing the warm light that was falling out the window onto my cheek. It felt nice.

"So, was breakfast for lunch a good idea?" I said past a mouth full of strawberry that I hadn't realized had been waiting for me on the side of my plate.
I wondered if she thought this was a date...and realized, I didn't really mind if she thought it was. Whatever made her happy, I couldn't really find it in myself to mind. But did I think of it as a date? Probably not, I hardly knew the poor girl. But I knew that she thought of me as a friend, a thought that made the blood in my veins warm slightly. Even if I was just her friend, that would be lovely.
But how long could I keep fooling her? How long until she realized I liked her? And then what...then came the 'I just want to be friends' kind of shit I'd put up with my whole life. I'd only found one other girl like Molly before. One other girl who made me feel amazing. The thought of her made me slightly nauseous, and I set my fork and knife down, letting my smile slowly fade. Don't think about her. Don't think about her, Adam. Molly isn't her.

Molly would never hurt me. Right?

I didn't know why my mind was so fixated upon the guy sitting across the table from me. Of course he was drop dead gorgeous, that went without saying, but I that didn't explain the way he had managed to take over my every other thought. Of course I couldn't honestly tell anyone that appearance didn't matter to me, because anyone who said that would be downright lying, but I didn't like the thought that his appearance was the only thing that made my feelings for him become so strong so quickly. I knew there was something else about him that made him so..attractive.
Perhaps it was the air of confidence he carried with each of his movements, in his voice, and in everything that he did. To me it looked as if he lived his life without letting anything hold him back. I admired that about him.

As he began to work on cutting his pancakes into eatable slices I turned my own attention towards the food that was on my plate, finding that my omelet looked about as good as it could possibly get. I hadn't seen such nice presentation in the longest of times. It seemed as though the cook had taken the time to place the fruit, hash browns, and toast that lined the sides of the main meal.
The sight made me smile a little bit but that smile quickly widened when I glanced up to see Adam working his magic on his food. I almost giggled at the thought.
I suppose I'd just never seen a blind person eat before. I could only imagine how much coordination and muscle memory it took not to miss one's own mouth.

Soon I realized I was staring and I turned my gaze down towards my own food so I could eat myself instead of spending the whole meal watching him. After all, how would I explain myself to him when he finished long before I did? So I quickly cut into my omelet and started to enjoy the food I had ordered, finding that it tasted just as good as it looked which was a relief.
"If you ask me; it's never too late for breakfast! I used to eat breakfast at dinner all the time when I lived on my own." I replied to his question with a smile on my lips as I glanced up to watch him for a few seconds. Although he was very clearly there with me I couldn't help but feel like his mind was elsewhere.

As I took another few bites out of my meal I pondered the thousands of things that could be going through his mind at that very moment. There were plenty of possibilities. Yet I doubted that I had anything to do with any of them. Why would he think about me? There was absolutely no reason for me to be on his mind. I had nothing to offer him that someone else couldn't do better. I was probably the least likely person he'd develop any feelings for.
"I feel like sometimes people take breakfast for granted. When I was overseas more often than not we didn't really have the time to sit down and enjoy a meal, any meal for that matter. We were always on the move so since I got back I've always enjoyed just taking my time instead of having to rush to finish." I said more to fill the silence than anything else. Of course it was also a way of letting him get to know me but there were a lot of details I'd left out purposefully.

I took another bite and slowly chewed it as I glanced out of the window next to us. People were passing the window on their way to work or the store or wherever else it is they could be headed. Many of them didn't even have their heads up. They just walked with their eyes fixed a few feet ahead of them so they didn't run into anyone but that was about it.
"Yeah.. rushing isn't something I can do anymore." I remarked thoughtfully before chuckling and returning to my food.

ooc: Sorry about the wait! I have exams next week, and he past couple of days have been nuts...
bic:

My face became unwaveringly neutral as I thought about her. This happened from time to time…whenever I thought about her, she would somehow sneak her way back into my thoughts no matter how hard I tried to push her out of them. I hadn’t thought about her in months. Why was today any different? God, Adam, you’re losing it.
I blinked as I realized Molly had spoken, and my body was filled with warmth at the sound of her voice, chasing away the icy coldness that had entered my blood when I thought about….
No, don’t think about her, Adam. Think about the girl in front of you.

Molly’s words drifted across the table to me, and I smiled politely as I listened, taking a sip of my coffee and letting her speak. My smile widened to a grin as she spoke of breakfast for supper, and I knew I often did that even if Paul was hanging around the apartment.
My affection for her only grew as she spoke, and I noticed the slight sad edge that had entered her voice, eyebrows knitting together slightly as my eyes searched through their never ending darkness to find her. I was glad she was telling me more about herself…made her a bit less mysterious, however, I felt closer to her with every little detail she told me.

With one last comment, her voice was no longer sad. Just…indifferent. Which I knew was good. The first step for trauma patients is to let go of the negative emotions they felt toward their incident. I wanted to tell her that, although I didn’t want to ruin our lunch with therapist-talk. That would be saved for the group session tomorrow.
For a second, part of me wondered if it was bad that I was paying so much attention to Molly. Soon the other patients would catch on…they might feel bad. I finished my coffee on that thought, folding my arms over the table and smiling slightly across the table, to lighten the mood.

“Well, I’m not one to rush.” I leaned forward to her slightly, voice dropping as it took on a kind of heavy edge, as if I was telling her something that was meant for her ears only. “Bumping into tables really sucks if you’re going fast.” I grinned mischievously to her, knowing that if I could eventually make jokes about being blind, she could possibly grow to let go of her disability.

Just then, the noise of someone clearing their throat made me lean back, breaking the small bubble I had formed with Molly. It was the waitress, and I felt my cheeks heat slightly, a crooked smile finding my lips as I wondered what Molly and I looked like to her. Perhaps she thought we were on a date…my cheeks warmed more until I knew they were slightly pink.
“Here’s your bill, unless I could get anything else for you two?” She said in a forcibly cheery voice. I shook my head lightly, taking the small slip of paper as she walked away. I knew that the bill would be under fifty, I’d been to this place enough to know what the prices were around, plus it was the gentlemanly thing to do to pay for a lady’s meal.
The woman came back with change for me and left Molly and I alone after the bill was paid. “This one’s on me.” I grinned, knowing that I might have just made this a kind of weird date, but I didn’t really mind.

“Shall we?” I tilted my head to the side as I looped my bag over one shoulder, taking out my stick and standing, walking around the booth to her side and putting my hand out, offering her to take it.

In response to my comment about rushing he gave me the perfect kind of answer. The kind of answer that made a huge smile spread across my lips while at the same time I felt my feelings grow even stronger deep inside me. A part of me wanted more than anything to just let him know what I felt for him yet another part of me convinced me it was the worst idea in the world.
So I just focused on my own private happiness. That is until the waitress broke up our little conversation by bringing us the bill.

I was a little bit surprised when Adam offered to pay for the meal but at the same time I found myself flustered by the gesture. Mainly because I wasn't sure exactly what to think about it. Was he trying to let me know that we had just been on a date? Or perhaps he was just being his kind self and it was an innocent act in the name of friendship?
I couldn't tell nor was I about to downright ask him whether it was a date or not. If it wasn't he'd probably get scared away by my forwardness.
"Well fine but I've got next time." I replied to be safe while tucking away my wallet I had pulled out of my pocket.

"Yeah, let's get out of here!" I said with a grin and a chuckle as I reached out to take his hand with my own, gripping it lightly. Pulling myself out of the booth was not necessarily the easiest thing in the world but it was much better than plane seats. A brief memory made me want to burst out laughing but I was much too busy trying not to make myself a complete fool in the middle of a restaurant.
After quite a bit of grunting I managed to get myself up and I let go of his hand only to loop my arm through his the way I had before.
"You know, I dare you to try walking on a stick sometime. It's a lot harder than it seems." My tone was joking as I began to lead him towards the door.

Once outside I took a deep breath of the Portland city air. Surprisingly I found it to be a lot more refreshing than the air in other cities like New York or Chicago. Though all three were a hell of a lot better than the smell of dirt, gasoline, and gunpowder in the deserts.
I more or less remembered the way back to the facility so I started us on our way, making sure to keep Adam out of the way of those who were still rushing back and forth trying to get back to work before their break time came to an end.
I was short on words so I decided to just keep my mouth shut so I could enjoy his company. I knew he was going to part ways with me either once we got back to the facility or perhaps even at the very entrance.

I knew it was selfish of me to want to spend more time with him when he probably didn't want to spend more time with me but I couldn't help it. In a way Adam was like an anti-depressant. He was so cheerful, friendly, caring, and sweet it was almost impossible to feel anything other than happy around him.
Since my arrival the day before he was the only thing that could make me smile without putting in any effort. In fact I'd even go as far as saying since I arrived back in the States.
When we reached a few blocks from the facility I couldn't help it.

"You have any plans for the rest of the day?" I asked him while turning to look at him for a second or two before I reminded myself I was guiding him. Quickly I returned my gaze towards the front but I listened closely for his answer.